You think a big sister would be happy for her baby brother for getting a puppy with his roommates. Not this sister. Envy overshadows all other emotions. Sure I was happy when I first heard, then envy kicked in mixed with sadness and finally depression. Why can't I just be happy for people who accomplish something or gain responsibility? I envy my friend who passed the GRE–a test before entering grad school. What do I have to say I accomplished? A story people think has too much dialog? A year in Vocational school,yet I have no job and still don't drive? I have nothing. Man what I would give to curl in a ball and die. No one would remember me…no one would miss me. Even at the college's Christian group, I feel like an outcast. I didn't know my friend passed the GRE until I read it on a social media site. I would give anything to go back to the Vocational school. I was accepted there. I felt I had a place and was appreciated. Not in the big world of college…not in the big world period. My cousin–who is 2 months younger than me–has graduated college, lives on his own, has a job and has accomplished so much. My oldest cousin is talented in music, actually both of my older cousins are. My young cousins are accomplished either in JROTC or as a camp counselor. My second cousins…man they all have something to be proud of whether it's a baby, over coming an illness, or succeeding in college.
I feel like the dam black sheep!!! I hate it!! My young cousin who overcame self-harm even has been able to move past it. She is 6 years younger than me. I still struggle with the dark cloud and the dark thoughts.
I guess I should go to bed before I do something stupid…oh wait, I've already done that: envying a dog. WTF is wrong with me??
-
My life
DrowningAlone, , Depression, Child, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, 1
Before I get started I would like to tell anyone who reads this, thanks for reading and listening to...
-
At fourteen
betterlatethan, , Depression, 2
At fourteen I lay in a bed in an ICU unit, with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to my abdomen....
-
lonely rambles
makaelab, , Anxiety, Depression, 0
I’m so lonely and it physically hurts. I’ve been lonely my whole life. I’ve never had real friends. The...
-
Broken?Not Whole? Read this!
jojigirl, , Depression, 1
The Cracked Pot Author Unknown A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on...
-
Today is the day…
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Grief, OCD, Stress, 0
It’s time. Time to get busy living, or get busy dying… so, for better or worse, today is the...
-
I don’t wanna be how they want me to be
Kayleew04, , Depression, 3
I really don’t understand why everything has to be like this. I’m so sick of not being able to...
-
Yesturday
Aspiretodream, , Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Relationships, 0
Well I kinda have some good news. I talked to my brothers yesturday. Actually, yesturday was an exceptional day...
-
In response to meme
thebadkitty, , Depression, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
One of the only thing in this world that I am sure of, is that I love my husband. ...