I don't sleep that much at night anymore. My dreams wake me up constantly and when i close my eyes again they just continue. Most people switch dreams every 90 seconds, seems like when I find a bad dream my mind stick with it till I wake up either scared or crying. I woke up laughing today though, can't remember why. I think I was in a race or maybe on a rollercoaster. Something like that. Anyways, I keep dreaming about my ex. First I dreamnt about the time when I found out he cheated on me, but in the dream I was staying with him, I didn't want to break up with him. And the next dream was that I was on a date with him, my boyfriend, and some random girl. Instead of leaving with my boyfriend I left with my ex. Needless to say I woke up very upset and I couldn't shake it till I saw my boyfriend.

Other than my poor sleeping habits and terrible dreams, I recently moved up north to be with my family, friends, and boyfriend but I don't know if i'm completely happy. I thought that moving would make me happy and it's even more upsetting that it hasn't. I still feel lonely which makes no sense because i'm not. I'm around all the people that I love and yet still feel empty. It's like i've been spending my whole life searching for what will make me happy and when I think I found it, it just drifts further away. I'm traveling through a tunnel without any light and all I can do is feel my way around and try to find what ever it is that i'm searching for. I'm happy when Im around my boyfriend and friends but the minute i'm alone it all goes black again. I wish I could figure out how to make myself happy, or how I can find a damn flash light for this tunnel i'm in.

 

1 Comment
  1. aholliday3 10 years ago

    <3 Thinking of you. I know exactly what your feeling, we're all here.

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