Hi Everyone!

I have literally this second just signed up – part of me is really nervous about letting out what is going on in my head but the other part of me is really excited about getting to know people who are experiencing similar things! – Please just tell me that Im not alone, because at the moment i feel as though I well and truly am and that nobody understands!

5 years ago I had my first panic attack, I was a happy-go-lucky, didnt stress about anything kind of girl. a week later I was taking 20mg of Citalopram a day and been given 3 months off work – for which I just curled up and let the day go past. 5 years later…I am off the tablets (dont know whether its a good thing) but I just dont feel right. I constantly feel like im in my own bubble, I am disconnected from the world around me and my own memories and emotions. I cannot get excited, I cant laugh without trying – I am just constantly anxious and fear the worse all the time. I fear the fear and cannot be in a room without planning my escape route and what I will say to anyone that sees me.

I am at university and in 4 weeks I am going to work abroad for a month!! – I flew a couple of weeks ago and had a horrendous panic attack on the plane – i was tempted to go and make the pilot make an emergency landing!! So, I am petrified of getting on a plane again, inncase the same thing happends. Or what if I completly lose my mind when I am away?

I am obsessed with thinking of dying, it scares me so much it is ridiculous – i am constantly thinking of the worst case scenario all of the time and it is driving me insane!! Does anybody else feel like their mind is just going to flip any second and that will be it?!

On the outside i appear a confident, smiley, happy person – on the inside i am screaming!

 

4 Comments
  1. newbster72 12 years ago

    I know!! So silly – but I wish I could stop feeling like this. I have tried everything I have ever been suggested but nothing seems to be the miracle cure I know doesnt exist! 🙁

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  2. troubled12 12 years ago

    Welcome there are plenty of us here that are in the same boat.Everyone helps each other.Take your time and try to work o one thing at a time.All the people her are very caring and do not judge.Good luck on your journey to something new to help you.

     E

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  3. newbster72 12 years ago

    Thank you for your kind words…I am so glad i came across this site.

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  4. kizeemimi 12 years ago

    You are not alone! I know exactly how you feel. I often wonder "Where did I go??" Not that Im not happy and anxiety free a lot now, but I am tierd of the nagging worry that keeps coming back. And Im sick of worrying that Im going to lose my mind. Pills have helped me temprorily but Ive had much more overall success with talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. Unfortunatley, I don't think there's a 100% cure. IF there is, Id love to find it!!! Good luck! 

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