I reallydo hope this group can help me, i feel i have hit rock bottom and dont know if i can face life the wayi am feeling, I have an 8 year old daughter that surprisingly still loves me despite all the wrong ive brought to her life, i broke up with her father 5 times to allways try and get things better between us, i believe i managed to get them worst, our last separation was 5 years ago, it was horrible he was msg constantly threatning me etc etc, i then mooved on, re- met with a guy that i had dated before and we went out for 3 years untill last month, in those 3 year i knew he sexchated online, and all the times i confronted him he would say he would never do it again and i believed them up untill i thought his behavior was different i continued to check on his routine and read all the chats again confronted him and told him to stop or i would leave he said he loved me he didnt want me to leave so i stayed and brought my daughter into his life. last month he chated again and i sat down with him confronted him and we decided to end the relationship,i had to moove out of his house with my 8 year old and cat in toe, my daughter had to spend one month with her father on summer hollydays as it was agreed on custody batte my daughter father doesnt even allow me to speak to her on the phone, so it has a month of complete solitude, have some frinds that instead of helping me forguet make matters worse becase they are all his friends and althogh they say he was a pig for sleeping arround with other woman i know they will still speak to him and be friendly with him and i dont want to get in between their friendhip. i have in icloud password so i know where he is all the time 2 days ago i saw he was at the beach and i decided to follow him, and seeing him phisicaly with another womwn would help me move on worst mistake ever, he was on the beach making love to this woman, and unfortunatly saw my car, he now has blocked me from everything says that im a stalker and that he nver ever wants to speak to me again, im alone in the island and no were to go, my entire family in is portugal my daughter is here, i cant take her with me cause her father wont allow and i cant go without her, i have a job that im about to loose cause i cant concentrate and over tired all the date and even though i havent had holidays in over a year they dont even allow me to take a day off to see a doctor. im tired i wish this could all go away, i feel embarresed and just want to vanish

can someone help

2 Comments
  1. bridgie101 5 years ago

    Sweetheart you sound just like everyone else here. especially me.

    I can tell you stories from my life that will make you feel like the success queen. 🙂 Trust me. And I have learned a trick. it's going to sound nuts but here goes:

    You get through one day.

    Shut everything that you have done yesterday behind you. Shut it. Build a wall. Block it right out. What you have to focus on is getting through one day.

    After a series of one days, people will forget everything you have ever done. What you have to do is hang on in there with the one days until the next guy does something stupid.

    And then you're free.

    🙂

    Your ex is always going to be a butthole. Well, both of them. And that's because you settled for guys who didn't love you properly. They treated you like a thing, not a person. But you stood up and you got out. That's really great.

    Now you're free. Now you've escaped! That's like dragging yourself out of quicksand! Pat yourself on the back. You've done a fantastic job. And now all you have to worry about is you, and the darling girly, and the cat. That's wonderful.

    You have a little while to plan your exit. That's good, because you probably don't have much money. So you have to get through the time till you get your beastie back and then the two of you can jump in a camper and head for the sea, and never look back… except for girly to spend holidays with dad. And she can come to stay with him, and she can come back to you, and the heat can go out of that until in five years time it won't freak you out, and it won't freak him out.

    As to this flash in the pan dude, just don't even worry about him. Call him a rebound. he's clearly not got it together. You stood up for your standards, and you've had a lucky escape, and you should be patting yourself on the back for this.

    So get through the days till you don't cringe, for me that's usually 3 with the odd flashback for a little while. After 3 days if your boss doesn't sack you, he's not going to. So just hang on in there, today, and today, and then today again, and girly will come home, and you two can plan your exciting future.

    That was probably far too long. 😀 😀 😀 You'll be fine.

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  2. redtulipspain 5 years ago

    Thank you Bridgie, saw a doctor yesterday, taking antidepressants and will start to see a Psychologist next week. still having anxiety attacks at work and feeling super down its worst around mid day don\'t see a light at the end of the tunnel im at. hopefully it will get better with time but right now im in sooo much pain its even hard to breath.

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