people are far from perfect*
we change ourselves to make things feel right*
it’s okay, because we’re bettering ourselves
how is that wrong?*
sometimes it means changing our outlook*
or it might mean dressing a different way*
maybe you’ll make new friends*
you could change jobs or buy a new car*
sometimes changing for the better means doing things that others don’t agree with*
some people will think that you are crazy*
at times, you will think that you are crazy yourself*
but what about happiness?*
feeling like a prisoner of your own body is horrible*
you can’t run*
you can’t hide*
there you are, in every reflection, in every glance you take, there you are*
and yet you’re not*
sometimes we have to change our flesh to match our soul*
it’s dramatic, yes*
but think about the possiblities*
no more wishing*
no more hiding*
you could finally become the person you’d always wanted to be*
just with one operation, just with a shot of this or that*
how much will you lose in the end?*
only time and experience can tell*
is it selfish to want to be happy? to want to look into the mirror and like what you see?* to show the world who you are and be proud of it?*
When I think about accepting myself the way I am, and I even get to that point where I feel like I do, I start to realize that it is more about pleasing those who wish me to accept myself
that is why it makes me so happy*
sometimes I see myself in a clouded vision, and I can love the person staring back
but when it comes to living out in the real world, outside of the little box I’ve been hiding in, I can’t*
I’m just not that person*
I want to be*
I want to be natural*
I don’t want to have to change*
I want to be normal, whatever that is*
to be like everyone else, only different*
but accepting myself and loving myself*
how can I decide with all of this interference?*
I need to retreat to a place with out influence*
a place where I can listen to my own soul, my own voice*
trust myself so I can make the right choice*
why am I always to blame?*
it’s my fault, because I hold the cards*
it’s my decision to make*
I can hurt or help my family*
it seems that nothing I do pleases them
unless it is what they want me to be, what they want me to do*
I am what I am, and I want to become what I am in the flesh*
I’m afraid that I’ll make a mistake*
I’m afraid I’m missing some vital information* that will lead me to enlightenment*
I am scared*
I don’t want to die*
I don’t want to be alone*
I love my family, even with all of the hate I feel inside*
the love will never die*
the need for love and compassion and understanding, the need to be accepted will always hang over my head*
how can I live with myself if I know that making one big decision for ME will tear apart a family?*
how can I live with that?*
I just want to be me*
that’s all*
can’t I just be me?

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