I absoultely HATE insensitive people. I know i drive my family crazy, but still, a little support would be nice. It's mainly my father. Upsets me so much!!!
For example…last night i was at their house in the kitchen, and my cleaning really bothers them. Mostly because I always want them to wash their hands after being in public, after going to the bathroom, after touching anything that has been in public ( ie, bags, drink containers, food packages, anything like that.) Okay, I get it they hate it, but I can't stop my worries and fears over catching anything.
Anyway, last night I was in their kitchen, my dad tried to touch me with him feet (i guess just to torture me because i absoultely can't stand feet!) He said "if I were your husband I wouldn't come back home to you because of all of this" (my husband is out of the country right now, he's not sure when he'll be home yet) So I said.."Well I'm glad my husband isn't like you then." and he said "well you see he hasnt come back, don't you" and that did it. I was crushed, how could he say that! How insensitive! I really hate that I am the way I am, but I still can't stop thinking the way I do, and doing the things I do. I've tried, I tell myself, just stop it!! Theres no need for it!! But it never works out for long.
So I went home, was trying to put my son to sleep, and I just couldn't stop myself from crying. It hurt me soo much what he said..
Sometimes I wish I could just be forever in a field of daisies. No cell phones, computers, or tv's. No contact with anyone. Just sitting, no need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. No fears, or impulses, no obsessions. Just me…nature. The wind blowing, the bees buzzing, the clouds passing over head…
I feel bad for you that your dad feels the need to provoke your ocd. It was absolutely out of line what he said about your husband. I do not understand why so many people think that us ocd sufferers can just turn it off. You know, if you had another illness that required say medication or limited your ability to do something say like diabetes would your father expect you to just stop having it or to tease you about it? This really gets to me.
My dad just passed away recently, and he would have never said or done anything like this to me. He was my biggest supporter. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do..
I think it’s basic as well, just I guess they think I’m hassling them. I’m always so worried that it’s not clean enough, not washed well enough, or maybe they didn’t do it at all. Did they forget? that sort of stuff. Because I know I can’t forget. haha
I had a different but parallel experience with my dad at a restaurant the other day. The waiter knocked my knife on the floor (clumsy waiter), and then didn’t grab the knife and replace it (stupid waiter), so my dad reached down and picked up the knife and put it back on my setting (we hadn’t ordered yet so there was no food). My dad’s a psychiatrist, and he knows about my OCD (he referred me to the guy I see now), and I don’t know if he was aware of how much that made me spike. But because he’s my dad, and he’s a doctor, there is so much trust there, I was in an interesting predicament. When the food came, I used the knife (I have incorporated this "10 minute rule" for some reason…ie if something was touched ten minutes ago, the contaminant would have died by now..)
It sucks when people don’t understand, don’t even try, and seemingly make it harder for you. Loved ones should be supportive, but don’t confuse them with the real enemy (OCD). Your father was definitely not being nice, and I don’t want to pretend to know anything about your family’s relationships and history, but maybe he’s trying in his own way to encourage you to get past some of your OCD symptoms. True, he doesn’t know how hard you’ve been trying, but maybe he’s coming from a more loving than a cruel viewpoint as well.
Sometimes I find that when my OCD thoughts are aggressively confronted by someone or something, it strangely makes me see them for what they really are…maybe that’s an outcome you can hope for from this interaction with your dad.