So it’s currently 3:18am.

I can’t sleep.  I laid in bed wide awake for almost an hour and a half and couldn’t sleep.  I even tried taking my Ativan, and while I could feel it relax me, it didn’t help me sleep. 

When I went to bed, it felt like my mind was spinning.  Ive been feeling rather anxious all day for no particular reason.  Just been feeling on edge.  Nothing’s really bothering me.

The only thing I can figure is that this maybe because I quit taking my mood stabilizer a couple days ago.  I was on Tegretol for several months and it did an excellent job of keeping my moods stable.  However, after I started taking it in July, I started developing minor rashes.  I didn’t think much of them because they looked similar to eczema which I’m prone to.  The rashes were red and itchy but would disappear.  But then I started getting bigger patches of rashes that weren’t going away.  So I did a little research about all the meds I’m on and Tegretol was the only one that listed rash as a major side effect. 

So I showed some of the rash to my psychiatrist this week that was on my arm and fingers (the worst of the rashes is on the back of my thighs so obviously I wasn’t going to be showing those ) but told him about them.  He said to quit taking it. 

So I’ve been off the Tegretol for three days now.  My moods aren’t really unstable per se, but I do feel more anxious.  My doc is out of the office next week but I see him the week after, so we’ll have to talk then to see what to do.

I did wind up having a nice Christmas.  My husband apologized to me for his behavior.  We went on to have a really nice day. We opened up our gifts from each other in the morning and then in the afternoon we went to my parents house for Christmas dinner and to exchange gifts there.  It was a really nice time.  Dinner was awesome, but the best part was being with my family. I see them all the time because we live near each other but it’s still nice to spend time together.  That was the best part of my day, just being with my husband and parents.  I had to go to work later in the day and it was a nice evening.

So tomorrow (well today now since it’s officially Saturday) I’m going to the library to get some new books to read.  Since I’m on semester break from school I have time to read books for fun, so I’m trying to read as much as I can because it relaxes me.  After that, I think I’m going to go try to find some new boots.  I’m looking for the Ugg style boots.  I don’t want Uggs themselves (too expensive) but I would like a similar style.  They look warm and comfortable and everyone I know who has some said that they are really nice.  I’m not normally one to buy something just because everyone else is wearing a particular clothing item, but these boots look cute  and I think they would be good to have for cold days.  So I’m hopng to find some Ugg knockoffs for a decent price

Well I’m going to try to go back to bed now to see if I can sleep.  I’m feeling more tired now.  Good night.