Hi everyone, my name is Rachel and I am 16 years old.  I am here seeking support for my terrible anxiety disorder, ocd and depression.  I have been struggling on and off with these issues my whole life but not like I am currently. I am seeing a psychiatrist to help me find techniques that work to quiet my ocd and anxiety, but I have made little progress.  It\’s been a year and a half since my anxiety has been so severe and I am beggining to lose hope.  I feel so alone with my struggles and misunderstood. I don\’t have any \”run of the mill\” anxieties, to be honest .  I have ocd about what my mother says to me. I make her opinions law and live by them.  I am currently struggling with two anxieties. 1. That I will be mean to someone and hurt there feelings because I am a genuinely mean person 2. That my mom thinks il never get better and need meds to feel good.  These two fears plague me to the extent where I can\’t be myself around anyone, am bombarded by 24/7 anxiety, and miss a hell of a lot of school. Even with techniques there is not in the moment in my day when i am not stressing about something.  I keep hoping i will grow out of this but at this point i dont know anymore.  This 300 word rule is bothering me because i dont knoe what else to say. I guess sometimes i wonder whether or not my mom purposely says things just to upset me.  I missed school today because my mom sais i was doinf better on meds than i am now.  Can anyone else relate to my struggles or give some helpful tips on how to get through this?

  1. christy1983 5 years ago

    Hi Rachel. I can really relate to you. Especially when u said ur afraid of being mean to people. I get that. I feel like I have to “censor” myself because all my life ive been told mt true self is wrong and not how I should be. It sucks cuz its like ok this is me and I cant change it. Why cant u luv me for my unique self? And if u think ur mean then maybe just say nothing instead of something mean? Do u have a really good close friend to talk to? That would be really helpful through the hard times. To talk to someone who truly cares about u and will listen to u. I hope I wasn’t at all judgemental. Dont let your parents make u feel like just because ur not like everyone else that there is something wrong with u. Everyone is different. Some people dont get that. We are all special and unique. Thanks for sharing ur story.

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  2. Author
    rachel666 5 years ago

    Thanks Christy, that really means a lot to know that I’m not the only one with these fears. I have some close friends, but I haven’t really told them the details about my anxiety. Sometimes I have a hard time opening up for fear of judgment

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  3. lho7415993aol-com 5 years ago

    Have you tried meditation?


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  4. bookgirl 5 years ago

    You sound like me thanks for sharing. You make me feel less alone. I am 13 and have had OCD for as long as I can remember but recently it has gotten worse. My whole life I have been deathly afraid of my mothers opinions and would hide everything. I would have strong anxiety if she do much as looked at a book I was reading because she might not like it. And I knew what she said would repeat in my mind. My fear may have stemmed from the fact that if my father has opinions she doesn’t agree with she sometimes would yell. She is a great person who I love very much but she has flaws too. I feel like I can’t really write if she is going to see it. I am happy to say that this has actually gotten somewhat better lately. I am not entirely sure why but I geuss I just faced my fears slowly and a little bit. I am sorry if I’m not vety helpful. Lately I feel like I can’t even think much anymore because of my constant mental routines. Whatever song is most in my head becomes changed so that the lyrics are repeating routines and I can’t seem to stop them. Anyway, thanks for listening and I wish you the best of luck.

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  5. caelinn 5 years ago

    Hi Rachel, thanks for sharing your story. Just getting straight to the point, I get it. I don’t suffer from OCD or anxiety but I do know what it feels like to be afraid of judgment. I’m bisexual and I was really afraid to come out to my family and friends. When I finally told my sister, I found out she was bisexual to! So what I’m trying to say is, there are people in this world that are just like you, maybe even in your own family, that know how you feel. So ya, there’s just a little thing that I wanted to tell you, sorry if it was overly cheesy XD

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