Things haven't felt/been this bad in a long time. My anxiety is just taking over my life especially my home life when I am home I am filled with constant worry over my job and what people think of me and a small lie I told at work then it changes to worry about my relationship being over and me not being happy and filled with concerns for my partner but still in love with him. My stomach has been in knots for days let's not forget the body aches n pains when I do relax. I know myself that a lot of changes have been made in the last 7-8 months and I may have not been paying enough attention to my health just constantly focusing on what is coming next and not really taking the time to just breath and look at how I am really doing with it all. Perhaps I've taken on to much returning to work was a huge step but doing it plus being at college IDK. I normally feel happy and comfortable going to work but the past few days I just can't wait to go so I can get it over with and get my lie off my chest ( horrible to say but also the harsh truth) I've created this problem and so I will go and fix it. Just now I want to talk to my fiancé about things but more importantly I just want to to talk I fee like I need to get everything and nothing off my chest, in need of a good cry and some generally help and support ( I feel like my mind has taken a course of it's own and I am no longerin the drivers seat it's my mental health ) it's very true what they say you can be surrounded by tones of people and yet feel like you have no one for myself right now I feel like I am standing on an island screaming and no one can hear me and that I have nowhere to turn. I am emotionally burnt out and in need of isolation and home comforts I am back to the doubting and worrying over small things again ( that really no one cares about because they are too busy getting on with their lives and focusing on things that seriously matter and are of a concerns ) I just want a friend to listen, a hug and some good advice! I try not to hide from problems anymore because it just makes it worse… Small steps with steady progress to reach the goals but what are they atm? They are that i feel lonely, afraid and out of my comfort zones the reasons for it I've been neglecting to look at the changes in my life…. At least I am hoping this is the cause otherwise I am stumped! I really want to get off the roller coaster of fear,anxiety and we'll just physical pain and discomfort I want the driving seat to my own thoughts and feelings back ( I am becoming mentally and physically drained and yet can't seem to stop this rising panic inside me) I sometimes miss the depression at least when I am down I understand that this fear dibilataes my life and simply controls so many aspects. I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day


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