We have had a tech glitch that required us to restore the website. Unfortunately, new members and content that was created today 10/22 were lost. New members will need to sign up an acct again. We are very sorry about this.

Its really never been about me, my parents left me on my own emotionally as far back as I can remember. When I did get attention it was more than likely malicious. My first time hitting bottom I did it myself because asking for help wasn’t an option. I have certain coping mechanisms I’ve been doing since I was little. My parents see it as obsessive and something that needs to be taken away instead of something that helps me. So recently I just got into with my parents because I was watching two videos from the IT. I mean this just happened a few minutes ago and I don’t see my therapist until tomorrow. I don’t have a lot to look forward to in my life so a new movie is exciting. However it was two videos too many. My mom was upstairs and my dad was asleep so I thought I was safe and all of the sudden he’s awake and she’s in the same room as me. I just started playing the opening clip from IT the miniseries when my mom got mad that I was watching this. She was already mad I was watching a Nigtmare on Elm Street when she got home right in the middle of a kill scene. In my defense Wes Craven passed away on this day two years ago so I try to honor him by watching his movies. Anyway watching this video set my mom off then my dad. I got frustrated quicker than I would like to (my patience with them has thinned. It’s been 20 years of handling them). I aggressive apologized I forgot I had to sensor myself around them. Around them or my sister I have to tone down my personality and interest around them to an almost dull roar. My dad started going on about how it’s always about what I want to watch and I guess I suffocate them with what I view. They never realized it’s a coping mechanism and has been since I was little. I latch into characters to escape from my own life. Like two weeks ago I just crashed mentally and physically, so I’ve been watching as much Emma Swan videos. She’s a character from Once Upona time and her being the loner and on her own most of her life is something I deeply relate to. It’s not like I can explain this to them or really talk to them about what goes on inside my head. If that wasn’t enough, my mom stared saying that I don’t realize how much they do for me and how much they just give in to what I ask. Because it’s always about what I want to watch or what I want to eat. I micromanage everything I do to gain some kind of control in my life. I realize I’m doing it more because I went into that depressive relapse and everything became so chaotic. There’s so much they don’t understand about why I do things a certain way or with what I live with everyday.


Leave a reply

© 2020 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account