I’ve actually been irritated since yesterday. I was talking to one of my friends who checks up on me at least once a week. We’ll I’ve never really talked to him when I’m in the middle of a bout of depression. He knows I suffer from it and other things so was asking me questions. I tried explaining to him how I feel and all he did was offer me solutions as to how I can fix my problems instead of listening. “Have you tried this? Have you tried that? This works for me.” Blah blah blah blah blah…. is it just me or does this bother anyone else? If it were that easy to do all these things to fix my issues they don’t you think I would have done it friend of mine?? I was so posed and just had to end the conversation. Then he starts trying to joke around when I’ve been clear about the mood I was in. I feel like such an as hole for cutting him off and almost dismissing him but man. I was just not in the mood. I had to take a nap after that. I was completely drained. Greg that just reminded me about another energy sucking conversation I had with my sisters boyfriend on monday morning… but I define try won’t get into that because it took me the entire day to recover from that. Anyways… I come into work this morning and the place is a mess. I work for a facility that works with foster care and developmentally disabled youth/young adults. Well part of our jobs is to keep the place clean and have them pick up after themselves. Well I come in there are dishes in the sink trash all over and piss all over the toilets. I’m a manager but still have to clean. For some reason people feel like they don’t have to clean. So I get on the phone and complain to my boss. He’s listening but not listening I really hate this place. They are so half assed on everything they do. I love the industry and what I do but I’m over this place. I have paid my dues and still don’t feel I get the respect, adequate compensation, support, etc. They don’t pay me enough to get cussed out by these kids, disrespected and abused. I also have gotten my hours cut which is the biggest slap in the face. I have been here for 8 years and still feel like a second class citizen. When they were going through financial troubles and problems with some of the agencies I was the one that busted my as to help them get to a better place. But when I ask for reimbursement and other compensation for wear and tear on my car I get a side eye. I’m just so unhappy and feel like I’m stuck in a rut. I feel trapped because I wouldn’t have the flexibility I have here at another job. With my son constantly having issues at scholarship and me having to leave work sometimes it’s just a terrible cycle I’m in. I feel so… I don’t even know what word to use to describe the way I’m feeling. =(

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