I told someone when I first started my fast that I was a bit of a wimp. Right now I'm kinda miserable but it's the fact that my body will be rid of all the junk, all the toxic crap I've been eating for years that is keeping my resolve firm. So I take it back. I have enough tattoos to argue. The downward spiral that started 8 years ago involved copious amounts of Bourbon, cigarettes & take out. Gradually coming to what I feel could be a huge breakthrough for me I'm determined to get there.

 

So, this morning I woke up with a headache but wide awake. No groggy fog like I'm used to. Early too. I had no problem getting to sleep so when I woke up @ 7:30 feeling … not really good but I didn't feel bad, I got 90% of my house work done before my guy even got out of bed. My headache eased up then went awaya coupla hours later asI kept drinking water . I can feel my stomach drawing everything through & I have hunger pains still. I remember the last time I fasted; it was many years ago, a water fast & for only 4 days but I remember this feeling. I'm right on track. I was in my 20s then so… we'll see. Fingers crossed.

 

I had to go grocery shopping today. I'm so used to my id getting everything she wants I had to catch myself from grabbing every pretty little shiny package in sight. Apparently my Default setting is auto-pilot. Strangely enough I experienced great delight from the aromas coming from the Deli. I made it out safe & without anything that'll spoil before this is done. My downstairs neighbour is a magnificent cook. There's always a stew or cookies baking wafting up the back stairwell. I'm hungry yes but somehow I'm satisfied just breathing deep. I haven't cooked all week so to assuage the Meat Monster (my guy) I needed to cook for him. Spicy Bratwurst w/ peppers & onions. I don't know why I put myself through that. It's one of my favourite guilty pleasures. Maybe because if I cooked something healthy like baked lemon herb grouper w/ a side of spinach & a baked sweet potato I might've cheated,just a little bit.I laughed when I licked the roasted red pepper juice off my finger.

 

Speaking of which, I didn't go to the juice bar today. I did take an extra Vitamin C & E with my meds this morning though. I had the energy but I just wanted to get home under my electric afghan & watch the episodes of Desperate Housewives & Modern Family I've missed. Did that. Now I'm wanting to get in the bed. I'm sleepy. The only thing I've noticed thus far is a psychological struggle. Like quitting smoking. After 3 days the cravings start to wane. I'm definitely not stopping tomorrow like I said I might. I am enjoying this journey no matter how much I might whine about it. Oooh… wine would be so nice right about now. I haven't had a drink since that Gin & Tonic at the George Clinton concert last Saturday. My guy asked me what's up with that. We enjoy a bottle of wine or a 6 pack once or twice a week. And sometimes, I hate to admit this but (we're all friends here right?) I need to be honest, if not with my support system then myself, when things get all dark & twisty in my head I drink, a lot. There's a major caché of beer in the fridge right now, just haven't felt like it.

 

I took my meds & my vitamins. I had hot green tea w/ honey & lemon. I had water w/ honey-lemon-cayenne pepper. I had water just. I ate 3 breath mints. (They say a side effect of the fast is bad breath & they are not kidding. I'm pretty sure that's not cheating.) And that's all. I weighed myself again this morning. I've gone from 129.8 lbs to 124.2 lbs. I went up a notch on my belt buckle. A persons body weight can fluctuate 3 or 4 lbs day to day so we shall see if it stays off. My perfect weight for my frame is 125 lbs so I'm pretty stoked.

 

Gotta go. SNL isn't going to watch itself. Thanks for listening. Leave me a comment if you will. It makes me happy.

 

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