When I was first diagnosed with GAD, panic attacks and depression, I searched the internet for help and support. I remember going to one forum which was frequented by idiots who seemed hell bent on making degrading comments and making fun of depression. I couldn't believe how heartless people could be and it made me feel even more worthless than I already felt at the time. I struggled on with my own battle.
I was born into an anxious family. My great grandmother was bedridden with depression, my grandmother hospitalised with nerves, my mother was lonely and reclusive as she battled endless demons. My sister and I have struggled to hide our own anxiety but when my nephew committed suicide two years ago, it was a time to come clean. My own sons suffer, my younger one is especially like me. Worrying about EVERYTHING all the time.
Six months ago I said enough was enough and started my own website. I am baring my soul and testing some of the self help products on the net in the hope that I can help someone – anyone to lessen their anxiety – as well as helping myself.
I don't have many readers at the moment but I hope over time people will find me. I refuse to follow all the 'tricks' and false advertising that is promoted by 'Entrepeneurs'. What I have learned over the past 6 months is that the internet is filled with people trying to make money at other people's misfortune. I used to troll through websites, searching for resources, help, support and believed what I read thinking this information was well researched and genuine. I am much wiser now and I get very angry at the number of sites taking advantage of people in need – people who are placing their faith in information that is a rewrite of a rewrite of a rewrite.
I still find it really difficult to deal with the Spam Comments that arrive on my blog, the hackers that try and wreck all the work I have put in. I could quite easily give up and walk away – it would be the easy option. But that would mean I would have to give up my dream of helping others, of giving hope to my sons, of being able to say – An anxious person can live a full and happy life'.
thankyou for reading and thanks Anxietytribe – you are a great resource