The past few days have been a learning experience.
Being down the road of abuse, I know how hard it is to talk about it. How hard it is to deal with the aftermath that comes along with it. Even so, it saddens me that after all these years, my best friend could never confide in me the pain he was in. It took him reaching his breaking point for me to get a glimmer into his life hidden behind the walls he has built. Honestly though, even if I did know before hand, I am not so sure I would have been able to help. To truly understand. His experiences and pain go far beyond anything I could ever imagine. I was here for him, but in a lot of ways I felt helpless.
When I called and had him put in the hospital, it angers me that the so called professionals did nothing. Maybe not nothing. More harm then good would be more like it. It angers me that people he helped, people he would have done anything for, blew him off in his time of need. I am even angry at myself because after all these years, all the help he has given me, I did not give the same back.
Today he is doing a lot better. A smile, a hug, and a deeper understanding of each other. I didn't have anything to do with it though. Nothing you would find in a text book either. Just one person with a heart as big as his. One person who knew how to pick him up out of the hole he was in, get him talking, and give him a reason to keep clawing away at life.
Before he went to bed, he walked out and asked me to stand up. He put his arms around, kissed me on the cheek, and said thank you. I was speechless. He smiled and started to walk away. Turned around long enough to ask that next time I have him locked away, make it a place where help doesn't come in the form of a few kicks to the ribs. He has no idea how bad I felt about that. He smiled though and laughed. He told me I was a good friend and he loved me for it.
I know his friend who helped him. I know what he has done for her. She is truly and amazing girl. Sitting back and seeing how she was able to break through to him was nothing short of amazing. The bond these two have developed to keep pulling each other up in their time of need can not be described in words. I am glad they have each other.
Through this whole experience, I have learned so much about the one person who has always been there in my time of need. I have also learned a lot about myself as well.