Hi all. Felt bad again today for some reason. Sent letter to my 12 year old son, so see if there is a reply. Walked into town and saw some friends. A doctor phoned me and I explained as best I could what I thought I had been going through, though Im not quite sure what its all about. Anyway he suggested I see my normal doctor. Not sure why I've been feeling rotton last few days. Not sure if the medical people can work it out either. Maybe just that Im a bit sensitive with combined worries and stresses. Felt really worn out but I havn't been doing much so it's strange. I dont normally go into such detail here. Feel like I've been knocked sideways, not depression in particular although it gets me down to feel so low. Good that there is no God, as it's unfair God getting blamed for so much when it doesn't exist. What does exist however is the life I feel inside me and experience around me.

There's some strange things that happened today if anyone can explain. A bit freaky. This morning I came down to my kitchen to find a bird inside by the kitchen window, a young one I think. I let it out and it stood on the fence and looks at me for a while. I didnt see it come in. Then at a friends house I saw a black crow, dead, head down to the gravel in a driveway with wings by its body all neat. Maybe just nature.

Other things Im thinking of is the benefits system in general, national insurance contributions. Increase in Uk taxes on a variety of things. The Uk law, such as common law and the ability to become a freeman or freewoman rather than be limited by the identity and laws relating to identity as in birth certificates. Apparently also there are those in society who are in affluent positions who want to maintain social controll over the poorer, less influencial people. Although I believe there are still good rich and powerfull people. More references were evident today about the worthlessness of money and the doomed economy based on the banking system of fractional reserve. If you ever wondered why your country and society never get to be truely successfull and happy, the answers can all be found by research and experience.

Hope you have a pleasant year and life (or is that to expect for those with sadness and excessive life struggles?) The solutions will more lye in getting together more and co-operating with each other. However I havn't met anyone yet from this site. Maybe 'Somerset' is a bit isolated and low in population.

You will have many lifetimes I believe, so this isn't the only chance you have to get life right. However this life is the only chance to get this life right. With that in mind, How will you decide to live and interract with people from now on? Sorry if I ask too many questions, I guess I just think a lot sometimes. Take care always and I hope you value your life and what you have been given enough to cherish it, yourself and make the best you can of it.


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