There's a brand new day out my window. My solar dancing penguin just started doing his thing. It's such a peaceful time of day. The neighboring businesses aren't making insanity noises yet. And I've not yet been disappointed by my own inability to be productive.

You know that noise that drives me over the edge? Makes me cry somedays, and other days, when I'm stronger, and have less pain, I run away. It's the exact noise they used in the movie 'War of the Worlds' with…. Um, Tom….something. Anyway, when the machine monster ate the people there was this groaning noise, and then it sprayed out the blood. That is HYDROLICS. It's the bucket on the county shop's dump trucks, and it's the thing at the hide processing place, a constant line of semi's full of dead stuff.

Tom Cruize (spelling?), that's it.

Just birds so far. No death machines.

What I'd give to be watching a country sunrise instead…no impending death noise. And no death smell, too. Birds that stay, and don't run away when the insanity starts. And trees, lots of trees. And all the things I could plant and watch grow. And the smell of healthy mud. I love that smell. And then my dog would go outside for potty and exercise and scare all the birds into the trees and the squirrels would bark at him, and then they could all come back when he comes in. What a life that would be.

My therapist says i NEED to move. My husband could care less. I feel like I'm dying here.

Poluted soil.

To the south, the pervert old man across the street always staring over here, and visiting once in a while, wanting to be a pervert.Oh, and he is my husband's uncle, and most of the family refuses to believehe would ever do anything like that because he, and they, are GOOD christians.To the west, the alcohol soaked neighbors who spend summers hanging out in their yard, drunk, and insulting me and my kids at the top of their drunk voices with at least 10 guests to listen to it and laugh along, until the wee hours of the morning. Oh yeah, they're my brother in law and his wife. And to the east, on the other side, the good Christians for whom we are not good enough to speak to. Who are also related to the drunk wife, who IS good enough to speak to. And then the businesses behind the house, poisoning the soil, the air, and the noise. And the house itself, built for my mother in law, by her dad. Neat, right?! Yea, for one, there are ghosts or something hanging out here, even the animals know it. But hubby's at work, or sleeping in his cave, so that's not his concern either. Nor is the promise that we could re-do this place into a better set up. The rooms are a boil. Old, inconvenient, wasted space, what little space there is. All it would take is rearranging a couple walls, we could do it ourselves…well, we were told we could when we came to this house years ago,but apparently that's not a concern anymore.

So, what'll it be today…tough it out, run away, I don't know. The noises are starting.

Maybe I'll go have a drink of water, oh that's right, the aquifer is poisoned by the hide business and the town can't pass a safe drinking water test, so they add more chlorine, so it smalls and tastes like bleach, but is still not safe….Yum….

How can small town people live this way, you can't look the other way, it's everywhere you look. They're alive, but they're zombies. I don't get it. Do they really think prayer without action will fix ANY of this? They act like they really do believe that.

So we wonder what the problem is with public schools. But all the way up to the Feds, we can't see that we haven't taught ANYONE how to think for themselves. Or to think critically. Or how to problem solve, or ANYTHING.

So gals, this is what 'a man's world' has done for us, the species, and the planet. Aren't you yet wondering why we're not extinct? Anyone yet motivated to take the planet back from these haters and destroyers?

I'm ready.


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