so yeah, i have been crying most of the day. nothing to trigger it really just crying. i went to my psychiatrist today because the medication she put me on two weeks ago caused me to break out in a rash over 30% of my body and to have chest pain and difficulty breathing. so beacause of the chest pain i had to go to the er last night and have an ekg done and 3 breathing treatments and i'm still having chest pain and trouble breathing. so anyways i had to go see the psychiatrist today because i need some sort of medication to stabilize my moods because of my bi-polar disorder. so once i got to the doctors i told her that today my boss told me that i can't miss anymore work or he'll have to let me go, which is crap cuz i've only missed 2 and 1/2 days because i sprained my knee. so anyways i told my psychiatrist that i can't deal with this. i cried 3 times at work today and haven't felt like going all week because i've been depressed and that if i get let go from this job it'll be the third job i've been fired from in 6 months. she suggested i go on disability until we get my medication figured out and my moods stabilized. now i feel bad because i know certain people have far worse situations than mine and they work but i can't do it. i can't handle it and i don't know why. i miss who i used to be though. i miss the girl that was strong and confident and could do anything she set her mind to. i feel like a failure now. i feel like i've let everyone down. i'm not going to school and now i'm not even going to be working because i'm so screwed up mentally that i can't handle it. i also feel like i i have no one i can really talk to about it. theres maybe two people i have been talking to but theres certain people i want to be able to talk to but i can't and i don't know why. i wish i knew why her and i don't talk anymore. why we go weeks and weeks without a call to eachother or anything when before we couldn't go a week without seeing each other. maybe its my fault. maybe i pushed her away or closed myself off or something i don't even realize i did. i miss her though. i wish things would go back to the way they were before. i wish i didn't feel so lost and hopeless.
-
Lazy day.. lazy me.
sadjac, , Depression, Anger, 0
Gee my moods change so quickly. I have been noticing it more and more of late. I feel sorry...
-
Always Others…
Ellowynne, , Depression, Depression, Forgiveness, Parenting, Relationships, Spirituality, 0
There's Always Others to Love… The older you get, the more you know. It's true. Unless you're really dumbed...
-
Nevermind
marriahh, , Depression, 1
"Yup yup. It's me writing again. I'm at another pub, brought here by my friend S. Anyhow, I moved...
-
Trigger Warning
someone154, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Uncategorized, Depression, Grief, Relationships, Suicide, 1
So about a week ago I found out one of my close friends I knew for 5 years died...
-
no place is home
justfay, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 5
I don\’t even know where to start… Wow! My past… Divorced with 2 adult children and a grandchild. I...
-
Now I know, I am not alone.
Faith05, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Suicide, 0
If you haven’t seen my most recent post here it is; I wake up everyday knowing it is going...
-
Finding What I'm Doing Right
Umbriel22, , Depression, Career, Child, Depression, Weight Loss, 2
So, over the course of the last week I have been very contemplative. Mostly I have been trying to...
-
Today I Fight … Again
JayLia, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Domestic Abuse, Medication, PTSD, Therapist, Therapy, 1
I’ve been in bed since Sunday morming. I have not showered, brushed my teeth or washed my hair....