So much has been going on where to start!?! Still messing around with the MA stuff it seems to be takeing forever to get straightened out & all the papers filled out by the right people & returned!!! Think things may be almost done now though (keeping my fingers crossed). Got a packet in the mail saying I have to choose the plan & the pcp I want so think that is a good thing. I have callled that poor lady like every week for the last 4 weeks straight but that is the Only way to get it done faster it seems . Still have tio wait until everything gets settled to see the new psychiatrist which is freaking me out since the other appointment is fast approaching & I can't afford to go there again. Tried another sleep medicine which made me almost lose my mind quite literally was prescribed Lunesta instead but at $60 dollars for 10 pills I can't be takeing it so not sure what is gonna happen with that! My parents are still pushing for me to go to counseling every other week which really isn't realistic at this point but don't have much of a choice right now…hopeing to get into some partial or outpatient programs useing the MA so that should make it somewhat easier if it ever gets all straightened out that is!!!!! So numb it is crazy I can't take anything in whether good or bad I am back in survival mode which I hate because it means I have to focus on just getting through each day & can't take steps to help the issues causeing all of this because it will overwhelm me to much….so stuck in that vicious circle again . At least I have some more support people at this time & being numb helps me not get as worked up when my parents say mean things I just don't really care anymore!!!!!!!!! of course I am not processing correctly but at least I am makeing it through each new hour & not as tempted to just give up on it All . Well that's all I have the energy to write at the moment will try to get back on but we will see if it happens or not.

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