After 20 plus years of battling on-again, off-again symptoms of OCD, Panic and Specific Phobias, I can honestly say that I do not understand why I get anxious about things that I have completed and overcame in the past. It's a real dilemma: the anxiety of flying or giving a speech isconsuming to me, and totally confusing to those around me.

I'm fine for months on end, but something will rear it's ugly head and I'll have a full on anxiety attack. The anticipatory anxiey of flying or speaking in front of a crowd will send me in a spiral of sweatty palms and fee, a twisted stomach, no appetite and the complete inability to focus as I obsess.

There has been success in the past, though. I fear flying, but I've been to Germany, Spain, the UK, around the US and even in New Zealand. It wasn't always smooth, but I did it.

I can do the public speaking part if I control the room and the number of people in it. But, put me on the spot and I'll have a full-on panic attack.

As long as I avoid these two scenarios, I'm right as rain…nobody knows my deal, untill they're affected in some way. I've lost relationships, jobs and friends over the years to those who were less than understanding.

But, here's the thing. Over the years, I've learned something: Everybody out there in the world has "thier thing". You'd never know, but it's always something. And, the ones that are the most judgemental are the ones who are really hiding something big. I try to remember that.

So, lucky us! We either inherited or developed this whacked brain disease in some way. I've spend years wishing it would go away. Sometimes it does, sometimes it dosent. But this is the thing, OCD is all I have. It could always be worse.

Hang in there. Remain calm and do whatever it takes to keep you calm. This is life….and life is short. Don't waste time being anxious or worrying if you can. You will feel differently. You will be ok. We will all be ok.

-McB

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