Hi anyone out there…

Where to begin really is the question.  I’d love to feel that my pain was original in some way, probably just to feel that I was in some way special, but the truth of the matter is I’m just another person who has been broken up with by the one they loved. 

We were together for six years, the last two long distance.  It happened quite out of the blue one day two and a half months ago.  You see, I had a really all important exam I was studying for and so my "kind" boyfriend decided it best to not disrupt my studies and to wait until it was over prior to breaking the bad news.  Kind in that I didn’t fail my exam, terrible in that by the time he told me it was over, that he wasn’t in love with me, and that he didn’t want to marry me, he was of course decided, firm, and cold.  In less than 24 hours he went from being my love to being someone I never knew.

My question to you, anyone out there reading, is how can I go on now?  Every bit of my life was based around him for 6 years, 7 if you count the wild crush I had on him before we began seeing each other.  How do I live now in a world post him?  He is everywhere around me even in his absence.  I never wanted to be single.  Never desired to date.  It kills me to know that he is out there somewhere undoubtedly with someone new totally having forgotten I existed, somehow not knowing or caring that I fight the tears off all day and collapse into my car to cry on the way home from work.

We haven’t been in communication for over a month.  Shortly after his intial decision he said he was unsure he had made the right choice.  I gave him a week to come back and he didn’t.  I then told him to only contact me if he wanted to come back for good which of course he hasn’t.  I don’t believe in making small talk with the man who was supposed to be my future husband.  What good does it do to chat animatedly with your ex every day and pretend like he is still yours when he no longer wants to be involved other than to create false hope?

I wish above all that I could just forget.  If someone falls out of love with you why can’t we do the same?  Can you teach me how to forget?


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