So my last session my therapist tried to convince me to take medication for my OCD and anxiety because of all the changes going on in my life recently. As always I kinda beat around the topic a bit and said I wasn't comfortable. I always do this. this time she asked me why – I had never given a good reason to not take medication and this has been going on for months. So I told her. As stupid as it sounds, I'm afraid of medication. I don't like putting man-made substances in my body, particularly mind altering meds. I'm afraid that they will be poison. Maybe not a right away reaction like if I swallowed rat poison, but maybe from taking a long term medication I could develop a disease or die from it. I know how crazy it sounds, but you gotta believe me! I rarely take Tylynol for that reason! I'm taking Nexium regularly for my acid reflux, but even that took me month and month and months to be ok with. but mind altering med freak me out. I just feel like I'm tampering with my body and that somewhere along the line I'm going to end up getting overdosed, or anthrax in the meds or develop cancer from prolonged use. I KNOW it sounds crazy! the chances of that happening are slim to none, but my OCD turns that 0.00000001% chance into being more like an 80% chance. I really want to get over this fear but I don't know how. Like I said, i know its crazy, but you guys are the only ones that I think can help me. People who don't understand would say "Just take the meds and get over it" But when its a deep deep fear, its easier said than done.
Any help would be appreciated. I'm at the end of my rope here.