Can't really complain but I can't really be grateful. I think I am slowly coming down with something… My stomach is always killing me and I feel as if I'm going to throw up. I sleep more than usual, which normally would be a sign that I'm depressed or something, but I really can't complain. Things could be far worst than they are now. My only drama is the normal drama.

Trying to figure out what I'm going to do with this guy that I like while still trying to come to terms with the fact that mine and my (ex) boyfriend are not really together anymore. It doesn't feel like we are seperated… We still take and act like we are together. And trust me, if I could, I could defiantly move in with him and just… be with him…. But because of events I can't really do that. So my heart is at play right now even though it really shouldn't be. I'm not surprised who it settled on though. Out of all the people it had to be him! No only is he complicated to figure out, more of a drama queen than I am, and complains about EVERYTHING. But he's also got a girlfriend. Granted she is across the Atlantic Ocean and he never sees her… It still counts. He's just so confusing… I mean, he has a girlfriend…. and yet… I don't know… I was talking to him on facebook the other day and I had just changed my relationship status to it's complicated (because it truth it kind of is and I was naive at the time andhoped that everyone would stop flirting with me. I get it! You like me! If I don't flirt back with you, get the H*ll away from me. God that sounded mean… but if you only knew!)But he had asked who the luck guy or girl was and I said it was a guy and I told him the truth of everything because I was naive… And then at the end of it I added that since the one guy that I like has a girlfriend and I don't really have a chance with him, it doesn't even really matter (the guy is him and in the context that it was laid you, you could easily deduct that it was him. I wasn't making it a secret… lol) And then he responded with No I still think you have a chance…. like… WHAT?!?! Confuse the H*ll out of me why don't you! Then he asked me to Prom…. Still don't know whether I am going or not. My friend is trying to convince me to go but I just really don't know.

I wanna be mad that he is flirting me with while he has a girlfriend on the side. Like, I wanna be mad that I'm his plan B… However, I can't. Because I'm doing the same thing. But he's my plan B. Because I can't have my plan A right now. So I want to be mad that he may be using me just for… I don't know… But I can't be. Because that would be hypocritical and I'm just not that kind of person. So in all honest, I might very well go to prom and just have the time of my life because I can. There is nothing stopping me. This is one of the reasons I wanted a break right? To explore? I don't know. I'm getting off of here. Just wanted to vent a little. Thanks to anyone who read 🙂 I'm going to surf Pinterest now.


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