I we were allowed to type in our own "your mood" instead of picking out of a small group. If i were to actually discribe one now, i'd probably say "annoyed".. though i'm not quite sure what i'm annoyed about.
I do know that i'm annoyed about tomorrow. Therapy. That single word just makes me want to barf sometimes. The therapist herself is great. I like her.. but its just going there and having to talk. Then to top things off, it puts me in close proximity to a liquor store, which i'm really REALLY trying to stay sober. So it's kinda like there are more negatives about going to therapy than positives. I've been thinking alot about what she said about maybe writing some things down that I don't feel comfortable in writing on these blogs.. but for me.. it kinda feels like if I don't write it, it didn't happen. It still eats at me. But like she said, moving it from a thought, to an action (ie writing it down) makes your brain try to rationalise it or something like that.. to be honest half the stuff she talks about seems to just float right through me.
Didn't come on last night. Wasn't in a good way, and ended up taking 4 valium, which totally zonked (if that is such a word) me out. Fell asleep at like 9pm and got woke up at 9:30am. So i guess thats a good 12 hrs. Still felt pretty groggy through-out today, but i'm guessing thats to do with the valium. I know I took more than i should have.. I guess i was just desperate to just sleep and forget.
I get the hiccups alot. Its really quite annoying too. I could be doing nothing, then next thing i know, i'm hiccuping for no reason at all. Totally random and wierd. Today I got them when I was laying down on my bed reading. Another time, when i was simply walking through the supermarket. Really strange. But then there are those hiccups.. not the physical ones, those emotional ones, or those ones that get in your way, trying to get to somewhere, or do something. I seem to get them alot to.
seems like winter is coming closer every day.. well it is.. but what I mean is that there is forecast for snow (!) on the mountian overnight… Brrrrrrrr
I've decided that the little money box that i've been putting my change in is going to be my "new tattoo" fund.