Hmm… this is not a very fun day.. Man, is it a full-moon out tonight or what? If it’s not people calling me asking for strange favors-like if I can personally find them a job. (eh… no..) Or telling me what they were doing at a job last year, and every year that they started to work since 1932..("I used to work at the saw mill and wrestle bears for money") It is people calling me wondering why they have been denied for unemployment benefits…They come in many catagories, but there are a few lucky.. ahem few that I owuld like to mention. These few are who I llike to refer to as the dictionary people’s.

These are people who could really use Dictionary's to carry around in their pocket in which to refer to when they need to know what a word means. Some good examples may be, if the situation calls to talk about an issue at the unemployment agency, a rousing game of scrabble, maybe on a much smaller level a game of Boggle, or just something to read while in the bathroom while you are on a long wait…

In regards to the situation I referred to above at the workforce, the conversation goes like this…

"Good morning" (not) this is Sean, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I would like to know why I have been turned down for unemployment benefits?"

"Ok, let me go ahead and check.."

Me thinking to myself after checking the screen.. is this person crazy or psychic or both, because the claim is still in process no decision has been made..

"Im sorry maaam.. let me get this straight.. you say you were denied benefits?"

"Yes"

"Ok…" Me going back to computer and searching fruitlessly for some sort of denial that I can agree with this person, and then dreading facing the inevitable "commiserating" that they all do…

"It’s the republicans" says one…(ahem)

"It’s the President " says another

"Its my pervy Boss fault" she says

"I didn’t mean to fall asleep at work" he pleads

"That Meth wasn’t mine…I don’t know how I tested positive for it." Adds the last one… (????????????????????)

Sigh….. So’s anyways, I push on, hoping that at this point I did not get another crack head that got fired because he was trying to operate a heavy crane, while high on speed and downers…just so he could feel level. I ask one more time, because I see nothing at all that would tell me that this woman has been denied her claim, in fact she hasn’t been approved either. Everything was just in process, no decision.. not even a hint of a whisper of a decision. So I finally take a breathe, because I have no idea what this woman is speaking about and ask.

"maam.. may I please get you to read the letter that you have in your hands, so I know what we sent you please?"

"I told you, It is a letter in which you are denying me benefits… this is a termination letter."

Termination letter.. wtf are you talking about, we don't Terminate people here.. unless we fire them. We used that lingo when i worked Medical Billing for so long.. but not here, I think to myself.

"Ummm could u please read me what the letter says.."

"I told you, this is a termination letter. It says that this is a determination letter on my benefits."

"Wait.. maam.. what did you say? A DETERMINATION letter?" I asked

"Yes, a letter determinating my benefits.. a termination letter. she said

Heavy heavy sighhhhhhhhh…."no maam.. that just means we determined that you can put in a claim, not that we terminated your benefits." (JEBESUS!)

What kind of …why you using that word…can we send her a dictionary please… no such word as DE-TERMINATED… not how ur using it. I bet you went to public school….(like me)

 

BTW… have always wanted to write about the topic of Campbells chunky soup and their little NFL commercials. If you watch these UNBELIEVABLE commercials, we are led to believe that NFL players (some who go to Vegas and make it rain…) Eat a can of soup after a hard day on the practice field or football game. Yeah.. these men who make 400 bajillion dollars a year are going to EAT SOUP FROM A CAN….Ok, so I dont really have any problem with the soup, its not too bad if u spice it up with garlic and such. (trademark) Could be good.

It's the commercials that get on my nerves…take a look, and see if you see what can be annoying me…

Did you see it? I know my brain may not be normal, and I pick up on tiny weird things..Like this commercial with Snoop Doggy Dog and Orbitz gum for instance.

Did u notice the disclaimer… about chewing this gum and heaven… haha (I'm hoping this was put in for fun)

So anyways back to the chunky soup.. does anyone else notice that when these players eat the soup, they literally UNHINGE there jaws to get the spoon in their pieholes? Didn't realize that this soup may have contained actual whole vegetables that were not cut up and u had to eat like a boa constrictor. I only wanted to eat soup, not injure myself to eat their product.

Man, wats this world coming too.. can't trick or treat, can't hitchike, can't eat a bowl of soup like a human…

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