so yesterday we had conference…all week I've been STRESSED OUT because i haven't been able to speak to my lawyer about what was to be expected at this conference…..she hadnt given me a CLEAR UNDERSTANDING AS TO WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN OR WHAT WAS GOING TO BE DISCUSSED… naturally i was worried..i didnt want to walk into the hearing feeling out of the loop….ive only met with my lawyer one time and that one time we spoke for an hour, so i didnt feel comfortable……

what i wanted most was GETTING MY BOYS BACK HOME!!! since august the boys have been with damein during the school week….and i had them on the weekends…i would pick them up on friday afterschool and bring them back home to him in the afternoon on sunday…..THIS ARRANGEMENT WAS NOT OK!!!!

so we showed up to court, and Damein was sitting there with his lawyer looking as cocky as could be!!!

Leigh and i sat there and waited about an hour or so before my lawyer finally showed up…i felt bad for her because she looked OVERWHELMED!!! she was carrying a GRIP of folders and she didnt look like a happy camper…she hurried off, but before she walked away i was able to give her copies of the boys school records and some pics that i had taken of what has been in the boys schoolbags (other than books)

our names were called and as i walked away i left ALL OF MY FEAR AND INSECURITIES BEHIND ME!!! i promised myself that i WOULD NOT LET THEM SEE ME SWEAT!!! i said my prayer and let GOD GUIDE ME!!

the room seemed so small and cramped…..the referee sat across this HUGE desk and i was squeezed in between damein, his lawyer, my lawyer and the law guardian…..i felt suffocated!

i listened as my lawyer made her opening statement….she STRESSED the importance of my having my EQUAL TIME with our children…..she mentioned how my youngest had grown an attachment to his teacher and was looking to her as a "MOMMY" figure in his life, and that his behavior and classwork has become poor…..she mentioned how the oldest and the youngest would CONSTANTLY come home sick every weekend…..and that their living situation at their father's house is NOT condusive to a healthy living enviornment!!!!

MOST IMPORTANTLY……the law guardian mentioned that the BOYS had told her that THEY HAD BEEN LIVING IN BOTH HOMES FOR THE PAST 2 1/2 YRS!!!!   


the ACS worker entered her statement stating that MY HOME was CLEAN and that it was OBVIOUS that the children have their OWN space ,and that WE were GENIUNE in PUTTING THE BOYS FIRST, AND THAT WE HAD THEIR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND…..

then you had damein's lawyer TRYING to say MY home (since its a one bdrm apt) was UNSUITABLE for 3 boys….and that my apt was TOO small for them…..

what i found particularly HILARIOUS is the fact that damein got caught in his own web of lies!!!! damein lives in a 2 bdrm apt with 3 adults in one bdrm, the boys in the other room….now i KNOW FOR A FACT that he sleeps with my middle son on his full size bed….but what he told the ref was that he sleeps in the living room on the floor, and that he had been doing that for the past three months….when she asked him what he had done before the 3 months he said he slept with kyev…i wish you could have seen the ref's face when he said that…..she also brought up that fact that his fridge has been broken for the past month….so when she asked him what he does for food he quickly said that he buys and prepared his meals each day!!! so she asked him "what time do you prepare these meals"? YET AGAIN CAUGHT IN A LIE!!!!



the ref left it up to our lawyers to NEGOTIATE a deal for visitation…..what ended up happening was damein wanted HIS WAY and WAS TOLD THAT IF HE DIDNT COOPERATE the ref would be OBLIGATED TO DECIDE FOR US!!!!

sooooo this is how it worked out……i have the boys Thursday 3pm through Sunday, damein….. Monday through Thursday morning…. and we would alternate the weekends….i have them the first and third weekend of the month and damein gets them the second and fourth weekend of the month…..until our next hearing in June…..

i imagine if things work out, then they might just stay that way….but im GOING TO FIGHT FOR THEM TO COME HOME PERM DURING THE WEEK!!!!! I NEED TO HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THEIR GRADES since their father isnt STEPPING UP!!!

what matters MOST to me right now is that I GOT MY BOYS BACK AND ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!!!



1 Comment
  1. Crysdawn25 13 years ago

    I will keep you in my prayers and I pray that they come home permanently soon.  I know how you feel.  I went through something similar with my ex-husband, he wanted the kids and didnt have a home so naturally I did and I got my kids.  That was 5 years ago and I couldnt be happier.  Since then we have both remarried and our son no longer sees him as a father since he has done himw wrong.  My son sees his step-father as his dad.  He says that his natural father was just a sperm donor.  I pray your boys home and soon.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Crysdawn25

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