It seems like no matter what I do it is never good enough for my mom. When she got remarried I wanted to stay in Colorado with my friends, I even had a place to live, and she convinced me to move to Florida. So I made the best of it, got a job, started going to college, and made some amazing friends. But she didn't like them. They weren't "good" enough.

So then she kept pushing her freaking church on me. I should go to this church activity or I should do this with the church or why do I spend more time at work than at church. She kept pushing me to go to church so finally I told her that I didn't want to go to church anymore and she pretty much freaked out because apparently it's a sin to go to any other church than the one she goes too.

So then she convinced me to quit my job and go out to Colorado and Utah to visit my friends and family. I must say it sounded like a good idea at the time. I miss my friends and family in Colorado and I was ecstatic to visit them. But after I get out here, my mom starts saying things like "don't you just love it in Colorado" and "we can ship your stuff out there to you" and that pissed me off. But then I was supposed to go home a month ago but she cancelled my plane ticket, forcing me to buy one on my own and I don't have the money yet. And her excuse was "oh i thought you wanted to stay out there". I didn't even say that. She said it.

Then a couple months ago I dropped out of college and told her that I didn't plan to go back. Well she has been pushing me to go back to college and I finally decided to and I thought she would be happy. But instead she said "Your not planning on going to BYU?" the school she wants me to go to and I said "No I'm not". She just said "Oh" all upset and made me feel horrible for even wanting to go back to college. So now I don't even want to go to college. Ever.

I'm so sick of never being good enough. If I had been a better child maybe my parents would have stayed together. Maybe my dad would have loved me. Maybe we could have all lived together in Colorado as a happy family.

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