so i have a social anxiety disorder. when i first discovered it, i was in my photography class at my highschool junior year when i was the example for our studio shots. i was up in front of the whole class getting my picture taken when i had a panic attack. it's been 7 months since then and i still struggle with anxiety today. the thing that bothers me the most is before the first panic attack, i was very outgoing and excited about life. when i discovered i had social anxiety i thought it automatically gave me the labels shy and a loser. therefore, i've never confided in anybody, not even my best friend. i'm too scared of being judged. the only people that know are my mom and my guidance counselor only because i had to tell them in order to get medication.

what frustrates me the most is that i haven't truly acted like myself in over 7 months. i used to be a crazy daredevil that acted out in class and could give a speech without getting nervous at all. now i get nervous about every single little thing and i hate it. it's my senior year of highschool and i just want to be able to live my life. luckily i try not to let my anxiety get to me so i still go out almost everyday with friends and i have tons and tons of really good friends. i just feel like i've started to grow apart from them and it's really hit me hard. i just wish i could go back to the way i was before i had my first panic attack.

now the way i explain my anxiety, it doesn't sound bad at all. but it truly is hell. i think i'm still scared of getting judged even on this website. but it's my first day so i hope to open up more as the days go on!

5 Comments
  1. GabZ 9 years ago

    Welcome welcome!!

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  2. savorypeas 9 years ago

    one of the things that helps me most is knowing that I\'m not alone in this. sometimes it may seem that everyone else is \”normal\” while we are not. But in reality, being human and on this earth means that we all have things we struggle with. For you and me, it may be SAD. For others, cancer or poverty or chronic disease or abuse etc etc. Just reaching out like you did allows you to get some of that burden off of your chest.

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  3. lifeofmyown 9 years ago

    thanks everyone for your support! it means so much 🙂 and if you guys ever need anybody to talk to who can actually relate, i\'m here for you

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  4. Willysnipes17 9 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel… The first time I had some type of panic attack was when I was young, it was nothing serious, but it affected me for a while. I then forgot about it up until about my sophomore year at high school. I was riding the bus to school and I got a lump in my throat, was hyperventilating, and by the time I got in my first class, I had to leave school because I thought I was going to throw up in front of the class… Now I\'m 19, going to college and the problem is still there, but I am learning to cope with it and eliminate it. Just realize that nothing will ever happen to you due to anxiety… Always avoid drama, take time to relax, listen to Bob Marley if you like it… Lol. Just don\'t worry about the little things, don\'t stress. There have been numerous times where I have gone out with people and found myself trying not to get sick, gag, or freak myself out to the point where I have to leave… Just know that even though you may one day have an attack, the next day is a new day and you should not worry about what will happen or who\'s going to judge you… A lot of people have told me, \”Chill out, life is good\” and being a 19 year old and knowing how you feel on some basis, life is good. Hope this helps 🙂

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  5. lifeofmyown 9 years ago

    thank you so much for sharing your story! i\'m glad i have people I can relate to on this site! and i really like how you said \”the next day is a new day and you should not worry about what will happen or who\'s going to judge you.\” i wish you the best on your college journey and hope to learn some good coping skills just like you!

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