Yesterday, which was Monday I had an appointment with my doctor for some new meds.   It was a relief to be there and to see her.

My husband met me there.  I thought he was going to talk to her or want to about his new wifes illness depression.  he is a non believer.  Depression is all in my head.

My doctor told me that I’ve always had clinical depression but now on top of that I have situational depression which is double whammy wacko!!!!!

She asked if he was abusuve I told her the story and told her he had all control and was verbally abusive.

She said if I ever think suicide again to call she would put me in the hospital.  She also said I need a psychologist.  I told her I had no money for that and My husband would’nt pay.

She shook her head. I told her he has medical insurance through a former wife which is cobra blue shield and last until next July.  Once again , she shook her head.

She is going to call me today.  Fabulous!!!  Someone cares!!!  What a safe second!!!!

She wrote a script for wellbutrin and uped the miligrams and wrote no generic only named brand on the script. 

My husband had to leave so in the parking lot of the doctor’s office I told him about her saying she would admit me, I needed a pschologist and that I would drop off my script and could he pick it up on his way to the house.

#1.  He didn’t offer assistance or ask if she gave any recommendations for a pschologist.

#2.  He aked rushed and had to leave.

He got to wal greens and they told him the price of the script and he came home without it.  I told him I needed it I would end up in the hospital.

He did not want to pay for it.  But there sits in his garage and at his lake house a pontoon boat, 2 jet ski’s, 2 harley’s, 2 trucks, 1 red sports car a vipor, and 1 white special edition toyota sakoia s.u.v. and 1 red bass boat.

He hates me.  If he loved me it wouldn’t be this way.  I figured it out that he is a sick man.  Child hood issues he never dealt with.

Drunkin father and beatings.  he’s 62 .  He’ll never reach out for help.

Anywhoo, I needed the non generic, with an up in mg. because I was on the generic and thay were making me so crazy.

He finally went and got the script after such a stuggle.  he called direct t.v. about a broken remote before he’d even listen to me.

I know it is over.  I have nothing.  The figh inside of met is returning.  I find I’m going to have that inner strength so I don’t walk away with nothing.

Imwillmcontest a divorce unrtil he makes sure I leave with a car and some cash.  We all know how he loves his damn cash.

My doctor also said something about adding abilify to my daily dose.  I know nothing od abilify.

Last night my husband called me a "Junkie"  I explained to him I’m not a junkie.  These are perscribed medications, the are not schedule 2’s narcotics.

But see how closed minded and ignorant he is?  His possessions and monsy is all he cares about.  Even though we live in a coakroach rar infested house.  The man has a beautiful Lake house and a condo in the mtns.  But here we are on the street he grew up on.

There is some underlying issues there.  I’m not the only sick one and I’m sorry to say but that makes me feel stronger!

I have this theory that if we’re told we’re bad
Then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
‘Cause anyone can start a conflict
it’s harder yet to disregard it
I’d rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me ’cause I’d like to stay that way .