Hi again its Sades…These blogs are about my life and story from when i was a kid till now, i guess i will start from the beginning now. Me and my siblings grew up with my grandmother most of our lives she took care of us since we were babies my mom was never around she was either in Jail or out with friends or guys getting into trouble or partying. She never really cared about us just herself and only came around when she felt like it. It was so bad i seen my doctor more than her and i used to wish for her to stay and take care of us. She was the first ever person in my life to break my heart and made me feel unwanted i always wondered how could a mother do that to her own kids just leave like she never had us. CPS were always involved in our lives and one point they took me and my siblings away in foster care for a week till my grandparents got us. They got in custody of us when that happened… i felt so sad n hurt n scared that me and my siblings where gonna get seperated. When my mom was in jail we would go visit her and the thing is that i can say i went to places like out of town and so not for vacation or just to go for fun but it would only be to go see my mom. I used to be so happy wanting to go see her n couldn’t wait to see her and eventualy the older i got i got less interested n didnt want to see her anymore so i wouldn’t go. To be honest it felt like she was more safe in jail then out here not only because she wouldn’t do drugs or could’t drink, it because i at least knew where she was or at least not getting beaten by my two siblings father. Yeah my siblings father used to beat the hell out of my mom he beaten her like it was nothing n i could tell  he didn’t care he put a hand on her…he did it in public everywhere basically but especially at home sometimes behind a locked door or right n front of us. I remember this one time he tried killing us by burning the house down but luckily we got out of there safe n they lied said the fire was by accident. What hurt the most was my mom always went back to him n i never understood why but i mean i was just a kid n i had to see that i felt so unsafe staying there when my mom had us and was so ready to go back to my grandparents. I was so glad my grandparents had custody cause i never wanted to be with my mom while she was living that life. Some might be wondering where my father was or why he couldn’t take care of me its kind of a long story but i will tell ya’ll tomorrow just this is the beginning of my life an if anyone wants to know more details to this part just private message me or just keep reading my daily blogs. goodbye everyone till tomorrow.