I am starting this blog because I am struggling with ocd. I am a straight male that keeps having intrusive thoughts that I am gay. This is a type of pure o called hocd. Hocd makes a person question their sexual orientation. If you are straight you could worry that you are turning gay are secretly gay, or others will think you are gay. If you are gay you can be worried that you are turning straight. It all started a couple months ago. I woke up and i had this thought I am gay. I shrugged it off and went to school, but the thought came back, and it kept coming back. Soon I started seeing unwanted images in my head, and I would get nervous if I saw an attractive guy. It kept getting worse, and I could not stop the thoughts. It felt like my mind was a song stuck on repeat. It was stuck on a song I did not want to hear. Finally I had to tell my mom what was going on. She took me to the doctor, and I was given lexapro and xanax. It did not get better. I started waking up with panic attacks. I would have to repeat my school id number, and the names of girls I had crushes on. I wanted to start taking showers all the time. I was not eating, sleeping, and I could not be alone. I had to go to the emergency room, and I was amitted to the hospital. I was let out a few days later, I am currently taking prozac, and I take xanax to help me sleep.I was taking Halldol, but the side effects were bad,and I stopped taking it. I am also going to therapy. I feel awful. I can barely eat,sleep, and all I want to do is stay in my room where it is safe. Is anyone else going through this? If you are what are your tips for coping.

  1. coolguy22 8 years ago

    Thanks for your comment. I will have to remember the breathing trick and the relabeling. Do you have any other tricks?

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  2. eliseelise 2 years ago

    hey are you still there? I am going through something kinda similar. hope you are doing better

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