My worst day sober is still better than my best day high, but this was close!

The new issue of It's all in the JOURNEY is going in the mail tomorrow , I've been at the new printers working out the bulk mail paperwork – & it has been 'One of those days' 

I remembered a blog I wrote after "One of those days."
On my birthday.
I re-read it and,
So I put it here hoping you will enjoy it too.

My birthday started with me waking up, drinking a cup of coffee, then getting into the shower.
The water was hot and invigorating.
For a moment.
I, umm, I kinda put off paying my water bill.
I catch the man as he is leaving and talk him into turning the water back on for a little while.
Standing there in a towel, dripping wet, and crying might have helped.
So I go to City Hall, pay my bill (plus $20 late fee), and get reassurance the water will be back on in a few hours.
Satisfied, I drive to work. As I enter my office (I have an office!), my secretary (I have a secretary!) runs up shouting, "Happy Birthday!"
She gives me a bear hug. Releases me, and we both stare as one of the lenses of my 2 days new glasses pops off, twirling in the air like a coin flip before a football game.
I assure her it's alright, and we start to work. But,
It's too hard typing while squinting through one eye, through one lens.
So I go and get the glasses fixed.
I return to work, do a little editor editing, and we break for lunch. I return home to let the dogs out.
As I approach home I see a tag hanging off the door.
I squint to read it, before realizing that I had both lenses in, and opened my other eye.
I squint again.
With my suddenly furrowed brow.
The city had come by to turn the water back on, but,
I had left a faucet on so they were not able to resupply my water service.
I call the number and a very put off person sighs himself;
Letting me know how much of an inconvenience I am, but says he will send someone back out.
Back to work for the rest of the day, and finally I am on my way home for the night.
I arrive, no tag hanging off the door, and enter with a whistle on my lips and a jig in my step.
I was owed a hot shower.
Said hello to the dogs, got undressed, and turned the water in the shower on to let it warm up.
Take three guesses,
The first two don't count.
I call city hall.
A recording tells me the hours of operation.
I get dressed, go to Publix, and buy 5 gallon jugs of water.
I get the Publix generic brand.
Back home, I decide to make Shake and Bake chicken.
Get the chicken out, open it, get the baking dish out, grab the box of Shake and Bake, and,
Realize I need to wet the chicken before coating it.
I have water! 5 gallons of it!
Triumphant, I tear off the top of the box, pull out the plastic bag to put the chicken in, then pull out the bag of mix with a snap.
And watch in utter, stunned, disbelief, as a cloud, no,
A blizzard,
Of coating mix swirls through the air like sleet,
On a windy, winter day.
Finally settling onto EVERYTHING in the kitchen.
I look around, then at the bag the mixture came in,
Knowing I had torn it by pulling it out of the box too hard.
I hadn't.
The machine that sealed it,
The side of it was open.
The side.
Like an envelope slit neatly open along it's crease by a sharp letter opener.
It was never sealed,
Whatever they do to them.
What are the odds, I wondered, and,
Then laughed.
In the scheme of life?
This WAS a birthday present!
Because if this was the worse day I'd had in as long as I could remember? (And it was)
What a wonderful birthday present!


Leave a reply

© 2022 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account