My mind is racing a mile a minute and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Usually when this happens I just need to let it run it’s course until it’s finished.

So I let Reena go. We parted on better terms but now that I think about it… it doesn’t matter what terms we parted on. Because the more I start to analyze the situation the more I see how horrible she was. It’s funny how hind-sight is always so 50/50.

I somewhat mentioned it to another friend of mine, Jenny. Jenny and I have been friends since High School. We were best friends in High School – so she knows me pretty well (I haven’t changed much heh). I told her only about the incident where Reena’s boyfriend insulted me the one night and she said "she’s lucky you are so forgiving because that sort of thing I would not let slide". So I finally realized – she’s right! I understand forgiveness. I understand you can’t always control someone elses’ actions. However, any time my boyfriend insulted her, she would throw a fit and be hurt and he would apologize. Sure it happened a dozen times but they just did not get along and she happens to be extremely sensitive. But the point is… he would apologize. Her boyfriend wasn’t even man enough to own up to the fact he was wrong with what he said to me or did to me and furthermore he never apologized. Here we are 2 years later and it remains the same. Yet she wants me to have enough "respect" for her not to bad mouth him? It makes no bloody sense! I have every right not to like him. I kept my comments to a minimum unless she came to me complaining, whining or crying about something he had done or said.

It just proves that she never cared about me. She’s two faced as hell. Talking illy of people and then turning around and doing what she complained they did or acting nice to their faces.

Ah well… cest la vie!

Now I am also re-thinking the whole "Seattle" thing. Maybe I don’t want to move to Seattle. Maybe I want to move to Northern California? Maybe I want to move to Colorado? I’m very unsure.

Besides that – I’m lonely. It’s very hard to find quality friends in Los Angeles. "Gems among the rocks"

This weekend I just want to keep to myself. I want to go out and shoot some photographs. I love being in nature and photographing the beauty in it. It puts me at peace and I haven’t done it in a while.


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