So I am pretty new to this. Its a little hard for me to come out and discuss my anxiety, almost because talking about it makes it real. This is something I have dealt with for years but somehow found ways to control it. I can be ok for quite some time, then it comes back again, raging and stronger than ever before. I guess what Im looking for is some hope. Someone to tell me that they go through what I go through and how they handle it. I know a lot of it is self induced but some is uncontrollable for me. To go in to detail, what I feel on a normal day to day basis, is high heart rate, chest pains, a sense of panic and fear, sweaty palms, trembling, slight dizziness, and loss of appetite. I find myself wanting to sleep most of the time because naturally when youre sleeping you arent feeling. I dont believe that before the anxiety I was depressed, however I do believe that since the anxiety has come on and been getting stronger it is causing depression. I just want it to go away. I cant control the irrational thoughts. The main fear I have that causes the anxiety, is the anxiety itself. I am always afraid that because of the rapid heart rate and chest pains that I am going to have a heart attack or I have some sort of underlying heart problem. That scares me and in itself causes more anxiety and more chest pains and even more rapid of a heart beat. This continues until I am in a full-fledged panic attack, until I can calm myself down. I am a big lover of food. I had gained about 30 pounds over the last year because I ate so frequently.. I had battled with trying to get the weight off. Then when I started to feel this anxiety more and more, I have lost my appetite almost completely. I have no interest in food. I dont want to eat, or hardly drink. I force water but thats as far as it can go. However, I usually eat at least 2 small meals a day and try to force snacks.
This is a lot to write, and I am rambling, but so much goes on within my mind and my body. I am just reaching out for somoene to help me understand this and how to overcome it without medication. I have made a doctors appointment for next Tuesday so hopefully he can help me. Over a week just seems so long to wait. I have even considered going to the emergency room to make sure nothing is wrong but I feel like that would be so absurd. I have done so in the past and the doctor looks at me like I am ridiculous because he finds nothing wrong.
Thank you for reading.. And anyone that experiences this also, please message me and help me to understand and give me some sort of insight as to how you handle it..