Just thought I’d write a little more about me, just because I feel like it xD At the moment I’m in college studying a short teaching qualification. Once that is over I genuinely don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I like teaching. I like the adrenaline buzz you get when it goes well and they understand you. But right now I feel a lil’ bit stifled by certain other people which is just :L.
I have a place to study at uni, but I feel like, if I do that I’m just going to be doing exactly what people expect me to do (or expected me to do before I was unemployed and stuff) and I’m not sure I like that. But at the same time, I don’t want to pass up on a chance to do something I really love doing ( not that I’m sure I like it at the moment, but again – not the point). Rereading my essay thing that I wrote for uni application genuinely doesn’t sound like me at all. ..And…Yeah…
My parents are divided on the idea of me going to uni. One pretends like there’s no pressure when actually it’s blatantly obvious that they clearly want me to go there, and be a carbon copy of them. The other is all – I’ll support you whatever you do. After a year of constantly badgering me telling me they don’t think I can cope away from home, I decide to pay attention to what they’re saying (sometimes shouting or in quite an aggressive way) and they completely change.
Honestly for a minute, if I could speak to them naturally about any of this, without being made to feel like rubbish because I'm questioning the way they do thingsI wouldn’t be on this site. I’m just sick of living for what they want me to do- but I don’t really know what I want to do anymore which just plain sucks. I guess I feel like everything I do is to impress/make them happy and I don’t want it to be that way anymore because I feel like I can’t get anything right for them.
Apart from that thought I actually had an alright day today