Thought 1:

Ask a certain doctor to tell me that the bump on my finger is going to get smaller once, to make it from 8 to 9, and then ask him another 7 times.

Hey everyone, still on the first thought. The bump on my finger is mainly caused by skin-picking and skin-rubbing. I keep rubbing the skin on my finger, and I just keep making it worse and worse. The doctor said if I stop playing with it, then it'll go. But this trichotillomania doesn't leave me alone. It's completely neurotic. Man, these sticky thoughts really do stick. I guess no thoguht will last forever. Hopefully that's true. My anxiety level is pretty high all the time. The thought keeps surging in my head. Bang, bang, bang. It's as if the ability for my mind to switch to another thought is disabled.

I learned a few things today. Distraction can kind of help with keeping the thought away. Music is my favorite choice. But the thing is that music and distraction are only give temperorary relief to the symptoms. I hope journaling throughout the days and refraining from fulfilling the compulsion will eventually allow the thought to fade away.

The thought is soooo debilitating. I love to write, but this OCD thought makes me not able think imaginatively at all. There's a person named Jay Kreutner who coped with OCD with a certain universal truth that says, "In order for the thought's strength to go away, you'll have to want to thoughts to stay." I really did try that, but it just didn't work.

So now I hold my breath, and slowly let it out of my anxious body, hoping for the day, where I'll be relieved of this thought. This is day 2, and I'll set a small goal to make it to day 5. Wish me luck everyone! Any suggestions would be awesome.