I’ve made it out of the hole. It was as simple as jumping out of it towards the end. But now i’m up here out of this dark hiding place, that even though it was sad and confusing it was Familiar. Now I’m out of the hole and walking around looking for answers and moving forward trying to forget what it used to be like. I feel so exposed now, I’m no longer safe in hiding in my dark hole im up above where I cant hide. Now as I pass people its become habit for me to put on my mask-my everythings fine and i’m happy mask. They never notice any difference, which isnt surprising they never noticed when I was lost in my hole sad and forgotten. So to them all I am is happy, for about a month i had myself beleiving me, but i guess you can’t run from the truth forever. Now I see whats going on around me, everything is more important to them than I am. So i guess theres nothing I can do but walk around with my mask on, because I don’t know how to take it off anymore. Now Whenever someone passes me the mask automatically comes on and I can only remove it at night. Night is so nice for me- I can cry and No one notices, I can  scream and no one will hear me, I can hide in the dark by myself and be me. I just keep wishing for it to be notice, for me to be able to tell someone but I know no one will ubderstand- mainly because I don’t even understand whats wrong with me and maybe I never will. I just don’t want to live like this forever. I hate it.