I've just been reading some blurbs from the Celestine Prophecy online. I've been feeling like I've been sucking evryone's energy by whining about being sad. Is it true that I just like to talk about myself, or is it that I'm so caught up in how sucky I feel right now, that I can't talk about anything else. I want to give out love and be nurturing but clearly I don't have those skills. At all!!
These are the questions it says to look at so we know what path we're on:
- Look past the energy competition that existed in your family and search for the real reason you were there. My dad was definitely an Intimidator, and my mom was a Poor Me. I'm a Poor Me. Ughhh! I think that's the worst one. Why was I there? I have no idea. Possibly to act as a buffer? Possibly because I would try to calm my dad down by trying to make him laugh.
- Ask yourself the question, "Why was I born to this particular family? What might have been the purpose for that?"As far as a higher purpose, that is a darn good question. Especially since right now I feel like I have no purpose. I so want to be a person who draws out the best in everyone but I don't seem to have the right skills. I guess I talk about myself because it's what's on my mind, and when I try to make other conversation it just seems forced.
- Ask yourself what each of your parents stood for. Each parent will try to claim your allegiance to their particular point of view. Every human being, whether they are conscious of it or not, illustrates with their lives how he or she thinks a human being is supposed to live. My father clearly tries to manipulate people to get what he wants, which for the most part seems to be material things. I would say he thinks that if you're smart enough to play the game right, then you deserve to win. He doesn't care what kind of toll this takes on others. My mom tried to make all the right decisions based on what she thought other people wanted for her. She does give out energy to other people by being warm and engaging.
- Each of us must try to discover what our parents taught us about this and, at the same time, what about their lives could have been done better. What have I learned from this? That a complete a-hole who tells a funny story can be more socially desirable then someone who is quiet.
- What you would have changed about your parents is part of what you are working on.I would wish that my father was nicer and more supportive. That he did things for the sake of being a good person vs, for his own gain. I wish my mom was more nurturing
- Every person begins their spiritual life in a position between their parent's truths. That's why you were born there: to take a higher perspective on what they stood for. Your path is about discovering a truth that is a higher synthesis of what these two people believed.
- If you look closely at all the things that have happened to you since birth, if you view your life as one story, you'll be able to see how you have been working on this question all along.