Dear Reader.
As you will well know from my blog, I am having HUGE relationship issues with my special lady – & to be honest, once the relationship has had the "seed of poison" planted, I’m not even sure if it CAN be rescued, or if I even want it to be? I’m just really confused.
But the problem remains – I still love her very much & would be so incredibly lost & lonely without her in my life. She is "usually" a wonderful person loke none I have ever known before, but there are times when she is almost like a stranger. I have even at times thought she may have some sort of undiagnosed "dissociative disorder" because when she has been behaving like the "other" person & has said & done some very hurtful & inconsiderate things – a day or two later (sometimes even hours later) she doesn’t even remember – or at least says she doesn’t?
But here’s the thing – I strongly believe she is going through the "Big M" – actually I KNOW she is! But her case is slightly different – many years ago she had a ‘partial hysterectomy’ (womb, etc. removed but NOT ovaries). As a result, although she has not had monthly "lady time" for many years, her hormones remained fully functional.
I have been doing a ton of internet research on the matter to try & understand what it must be like for her – what she must be going through & invariably (& I KNOW this sounds selfish) but what she is putting me & US through in the process.
I was hoping there may be some ladies out there (gents to that may have gone through this with your other half) that would be able to share what emotions & thoughts you experience when hormones are "out of balance"

  1. Aswa 8 years ago


    I am turning 44 in November and my menstrual cycle with its associated mood swings, black outs, disassociative episodes, aggressive and violent tendancies are at least as bad, if not worse than those previously considered to be the primarily symptoms of my mental illness.  

    i'm really starting to feel my age on many levels and recall my mother having similar issues in her early 40s. my libido has literally gone through the floor. i consider myself celibate at the moment and use no birth control.

    i suffer from night sweats (another common pre-menopausal symptom) and i openly admit to being irrational, cruel and hurtful and more worryingly, being purposefully so, since i've felt the change a-coming. i hate it. i feel like i am burning up inside and i just want to release the pressure – usually on the person i feel safest with and/or who is closest to me.

    because i have been diagnosed with a range of mood and personality disorders my gp, psychologist, mental health workers and carer all firmly believe that these are simply the same symptoms i've described to them before, but I KNOW they are much worse and are related to other physical and emotional symptoms.

    menopause is a BIGGIE for us women and so far i have found very few who are willing to share their experiences, even with other women but that could just be me – let's hope you get HEAPS of responses to this blog. i also wonder if you have raised this issue with your lady friend and i wish you good luck! 

    i hope this response has helped in some way ~ i've been doing alot of research on the subject lately too.

    Peace, Aswa.


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  2. RZA324 8 years ago

    Well lets just say that men go through it also, there testerone levels decrease, it may not be as evident.  Everyone is different but menopause can effect woman in many ways.  It can be liberating, believe it or not, although the night sweats and feeling moodier then usual is part of it.  Try talking and being there for each other, that is what a relationship is all about.  Does she even mention it at all?  Maybe you two could come up with a rule that if she is feeling especially sensitive she can let you know and you can go and do something else and let her be.  Also sexually not every woman goes through that part, I have heard many stories regarding this but must say again, everyone is different.  Be empathetic and supportive without being patronizing. LOL sorry that sounded terrible, but it is a roller coaster ride at times, good luck.

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