These past several weeks have been rough, to be honest.  It's getting ahrder and hader to plan ahead for anything.  About al I do now is go through each day as a singular thing and just know that eventually it'll be done.  But then when I'm home, I almost don't want to be home because that means that tomorrow comes, and another day of being just like that.

I now work two jobs.  I"m not sure if I posted that yet, but I do.  My morning job has been getting frustrating and has cut my hours back to 12 hours a week.  My new, second job, is in the evening.  It starts one hour after my first job gets off.  So far, it sounds like a worse job, but at least there's less tention.

My first job has been giving me troubles about what to do and what not ot do. I'm  gettting highly micro-managed.  Two weeks ago, I got in trouble because he turned to page 5 of the paperwork he had bundled and told me that the bottom portion of the page was the information I needed to put on the project.  So I did it.  He spell checked it, and sent the proof to the customer.  Customer returned it saying there was some information missing.  apparently it ran onto page 6.  Naturally, it was my fault because, (as he puts it) I am the 'apex' of every project (and apparently, therefor I need to be perfect).

The following week, he handed me two sheets.  Both were printouts of different art styles of a picture.  He gave me instructions, gesturing at the top page of what it is I was supposed to create.  this time I rememebered to look at all the pages, and that's how I noticed it was two printouts of the smae picture done in different styles. So I proceeded to follow them both at first, but I found that following page 2 more was easier on what we were going to output, so I did that.  When I showed him my work, I got introuble that time for not directly following his instructions thaat were meant only for page 1 and that I was to disregard page 2 because he hadnt given me any instructions about it nor had acknoledged it while giving his instructions.

So it's kind of one of those 'damned if I do and damned if I don't' situations.  I can't really afford to quit the job, even though it's oly 12 hours a week, it's a little better than minimum wage right now and there really is squat for jobs around here.  I'd apply for some big job in a city if it didn't make me feel like I'm begging them to save me and all I get is a two week (or one month) trial before they boot me.  That and cities always made me paranoid.

My second job is ok.  It's not the most fabuus, but its currently tollerable.  How long I can tollerate it is the question.  I'm the lucky duck who gets to call people who are past due on their bills.  Guess I deserve it as I've yelled at my fair share of people like that.  However, I also get to answer the phone for people who did not recieve their paper (as it's a job for the newspaper).  Some people can be downright psychotic about missing their paper!  Even if it's only a hour after they normally get it, but still two hours before the delivery deadline.  And there really isnt much that I can do with how much they hate their delivery person, but forward the information along to someone else.  If nothing gets done about it by them, I get yelled at again for not doing anything.

There are redeeming parts of the job though.  The down time is decent, so I can pace myself between calls (outgoing ones at least).  And the coworkers are nice.  I also get to call people to make sure they recieved their first delivery, which usually goes well.

The hardet part, I think, is the hours.  Normally it's 3pm-7pm weekdays, however, I work Saturdays as well.  saturdays it's 7am-11am.  This is reall been rough on my sleep cycle.  Normally i sleep midnight to 9am.  getting up three hours early feels painful, and I can't really sleep when I go to bed three hours early either.  I never really have been a morning person though.  And when saturdays are quiet, I sometimes nap at the desk until 9:30am.

Other things have been piling up to.  To the point where I don't care all that much about returning home either.  I've gotten behind in chores (again), and I just can't muster myself up enough to do something about it.  I get some laundry done (not all of it) and that's about it.  No dishes, no garbage cleaned up, no paperwork filed.

Speaking of paperwork, my last year's taxes didnt go through for the federal.  State did, but not federal.  So now I have to deal with that stuff.  I also have my student loans to deal with.  They need a copy of said taxes to put me on an income based payment plan.  I'm lacking last years W2s though.

The hospital's collections agency is calling again.  Now that the ammount I owe is correct, I paid some but not all.  It apparently costs me to pay them.  Something like $5 extra for each payment they have to prosses.  So why pay them at all till I have the whole lump sum?  they've called me up to three times a day I think.  it's a number my phone doesn't recognise, so I don't answer.  But they never leave a voice mail.  They like to call while I'm at work.  One timeeven int he bathroom!  I wonder if they take kidneys and if I'd get a refund for the rest of the value of the kidney….

About all I've been doing to keep myself partially intact is socializing online with some friends in a game.  We chat, we role play, we do adventures, etc… it gets my mind off all this crap.  But lately, I've been feeling like I need more than jsut this distraction to deal with the frustration each day, and I'm not really sure what to do.

I try to attend choir, but the only times I can attend is when they're having rehersal in the old location.  And then I can attend for the second half of rehersal when I get out of work.  If it's at their new location, I can''t drive there in time to make the trip justifiable.  I miss choir.  The women in there are a real loving group.


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