It's been a while since I've posted on here, I've come to the site various times to try to write on here but my head goes blank like this box.
It was a busy easter after all, many days out doing many different activities. There were some fantastic days with some events that truly made me smile, for once. The wedding, the car conversation, becoming a godmother! I'd forgotten how relaxing swimming is, even though I still can't swim, just mulling in the water was nice. There were a few days that my emotions got the better of me and I couldn't keep my face. It's getting harder and harder to keep it, my boyfriend can see right through it.

However, I've made a partial progress in the fact that I've started talking to my boyfriend about things. It's a long process of him trying to make funny guesses (he deals with his problems through jokes) and me saying one word of a sentence every so often. Having spent most of my life never expressing how I feel has it's pains. He knows how I feel about things on his side now, just me to go, which is probably going to be the hardest of all. At the same time, I don't want to burden him with my problems, he has enough of his own.

I cannot wait for this week to end and be back home. However nice my university acquaintances are, I just don't like it here. My mind seems to get worse, I can't stop thinking about all the negatives & the paranoia. An exam, which I'm confusingly confident about and two lectures to go.
I may be starting up piano in the summer, which gives me some hope. Just a summer job to find & perhaps a drastic hair cut.