I read in the news today that psychologists have predicted that 19th January 2009 will be the most depressing day in history.  This doesn't surprise me at all as I feel I've reached the lowest point it is possible for me to go.

2008 was such a horrid year – the worst of my life – for all sorts of reasons, and I did have high hopes that 2009 might kick off a little better.  However those hopes were dashed when my husband packed his bags and left me on christmas eve and so I entered 2009 not sure if I even had a marriage left.

I still don't have a job and it's reached the stage now where – financially – I just can't cope any longer without one.  I had 2 interviews on thursday, which threw me into a terrible panic – I can barely handle one interview, nevermind two on the same day!  One was actually for my old job, and I more or less felt it was impossible I wouldn't get it because they didn't want me to leave in the first place – so I thought the only way I could flunk it is if my anxiety got the better of me and I did a poor interview.  But I was pleased with the interview I did and yet still didn't get the job.  The other job I was holding out strong hopes for too as I felt I did my best interview ever there – but I expected to hear this morning if I had it, but no call so I must have flunked that one too.

I've never felt such a failure, and every single interview I do takes so much out of me – I wish it got easier the more I do, but it doesn't.  I just wish my luck would change because it's got to the point I just can't cope with the rejection anymore! 🙁

1 Comment
  1. toastee 12 years ago

    DOnt feel down, those days of instant "you got the job" are not around much anymore.   Give it four or  five days and call them, I know I, like many others have relied on the new internet way of finding a job that has taken over now.  The old way still works tho, calling someone directly or showing up and inquiring for positions even if they dont advertise works.

     

    It really works, I found this out too late, I spose I assumed everyone was out there calling businesses to get work.  When the opposite is prolly true and they are all sending resumes out on the internet.  Make a call, and get yourself to stand out from the other email forwarders..they can only say no over the phone..takes 50 seconds, painless..If it's no..then go out and keep looking, Cant get discouraged.  It's what I would do if I didn't have anxiety, and if "I" would want to at least act normally, then I would have to do it.

     

    My new job starts tomorrow and am freaking out a bit because the drive there makes me panicky, but I will have to conquer it I spose,

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