I’ve gotten my first depressive episode of the new year. (Yay! …Oh, wait.) I’ve known it was coming for a few days, because I’ll feel abnormally great a day or two before these start. This precious one-or-two day timeframe is all I have to complete all the work I’m going to neglect once I get depressed. But instead of doing that, I figured I would write a play, two short stories, several chapters for a book of mine, and a song. Which, in retrospect, was a complete waste of energy, because now I have school assignments I should’ve done in advance that I really don’t feel like doing now. But I’ll mustre up what I need to do them. Even if I only give it fifty percent effort, I’ll still get an A, and possibly a 100. Usually I’d care more about the hundred, but, meh.

I digress. Anyway, this time I knew it was coming, so I started taking St. John’s Wort before I started feeling down, hoping it would work this time (after doing absolutely nothing for me two previous times.) Well, I don’t know if it’s worked or not, because I’m really not feeling much of anything. I don’t mean that, literally. I don’t feel any excitement, happiness, etc., but I do feel the more negative emotions very, very slightly. As in, I occasionally feel flickers of disappointment. That’s about all, but anything’s better than nothing. I don’t know if that’s the St. John’s Wort dulling my depressive symptoms or if it’s actually my depression. So, I stopped taking the St. John’s Wort today, and I’m going to see how I feel. Then, I’ll while work from there.


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