Okay so i was reminiscing about my relatives…and i started crying so i needed to vent here b/c i cant to my family…i just feel like they feel like i should be over it. So my grandma Rosemary, God, she was a beautiful person just her personality was so kind. She died about 8 years ago and i was 7. alot of stuff hapened when i was seven, all bad stuff. But i remember she was diabetic and we used to always play sorry when i came over! and when i read my first chapter book it was junie b jones 🙂 (i cant help but smile at the memory) and she baked me a giant chocolate cake with chocolate icing. I remmeber one morning i went there and she was too tired to play sorry with me so she had my uncle george do it and all i remeber thinking was this isnt as much fun and his breath stinks lol! i know its weird but its true! so she died of heart problems and i had preminition about it. see she used to go to the hospital alot and i would never want to come. well this time i wanted to like i was literally compelled to go i needed to and when my mom didnt let me b/c she thought it would be like everyother time i was soo mad i cried and cried and yelled and i was hysterical. well my mom left and that night she died and it was absolutley horrid :'( so then a lil while later my mawmaw haney was diagnosed with breast cancer and she lived 🙂 and she is still alive 🙂 but while we were all focusing on her we never noticed that her husband, my pawpaw, had anal cancer and when we finally caught it it had spread throughout his body and to his lungs. Hed died 5 days after my birthday. But the morning he died i had another preminition but in a dream. here it is: my current dream stopped and it went black then turned into this feild of yellow and orange flowers, well this angel apeared and said he’s gone i asked who? she said he is gone once again i asked who? and she said you know who. and disapeared suddenly everything went black and it echoed in my head pawpaw pawpaw pawpaw is dead. and i woke up jumped off the top bunk ran into my moms room screaming oh my god oh my god and then i fell asleep. 5 minutes later my grandma called, and sead hes gone hes gone…. and i needed a years worht of counsleing 🙁 so my cousin dylan just died sept. 6th 2008 and i never got to see him my dad and his dad never had a great relationship to cut a very long story short they were both stupid so my memories with dylan and jesse(his lil bro) are fuzz i only remember him showing how his lizards tail could get cut off and grow back. and i remeber playing sonic the hedgehog on sega with him 🙂 but at 17 years old he got into a car wreck with his friend who was driving and they were sober and unintoxicated but they hit a curve too fast and hit a tree and they died :'( im not fully over it and i just idk 🙁 🙁 🙁

thanks for reading anyways i needed to vent you dont know how much this has helped.