Thank you everyone, for your outpouring of responses from last week when I was having a bit (ha) of a personal crisis. I ended up going to Emergency. I did have to wait several hours there, but the room full of people in the waiting room and my boyfriend arriving soon after I got there helped to reassure me I wouldn't do anything drastic while I waited.
I ended up talking to several different people, a doctor and several nurses, who all steered me through the system. My boyfriend went through all the processes with me until the last nurse, who said normally she talked to people one on one and excused him from our tiny room. I was very panicked when he left at first but she was quite reassuring and Icalmed down quite a bit and we talked it all out.
At the end, she gave me a crisis hotline number and made an appointment with councilling at the hospital in the meantime while my councilling through university was set up. She faxed them my information, and also faxed it to my doctor so that she could start me on antidepressants if I wanted.
I felt really good upon leaving, although starving and exhausted. But now a week later I'm feeling considerably less enthused. My appointment Monday ended up falling through and now I'm anxious about everything enough to feel paralysed and incapable of progressing. In the long term, maybe some further advice about getting started with therapy or antidepressants would be helpful. In the short term, I'm behind on homework because of my hospital trip and days I took off afterward with a doctor's note. My prof is entirely unforgiving, but I am utterly unmotivated to do my homework tonight. Does anyone have any advice on self-motivating techniques? Preferably more powerful techniques than say, playing energetic music, because those simple fix things don't seem to work for me. Maybe just a new perspective or outlook? I don't know. Thanks.
If you read all this, congratulations, it's a little longer than I expected, haha.