(This is my first time on this site, sorry if this is different than it should be?)

I have severe depression and social anxiety. For years i denied the fact that there was anything wrong with me. I was raised in a family where mental health wasn’t priority, wasn’t even a topic of discussion. Feeling depressed? Like you can’t leave your room let alone your bed? Lazy. Having a panic attack? You’re overreacting, stop being so dramatic.

I found this to be hypocritical, as my mother had extreme agoraphobia, which is in its simplest terms is fear of public places, in her case at least. My mom eventually managed to outgrow her phobia with very little therapy and a lot of self will, and expects me to do the same. My relationship with my mom is strained i suppose, im 17 so i still live home, but honestly i resent her a bit. When I was 12, I told her I wanted to die.

She told me to stop being a drama queen.

I think after that experience I had a hard time trusting her. It took her until last year to awknoledge my mental health issues at all. She feels as though her experience reflects my own and I can only get better if I help myself, that therapy isn’t needed and I’ll be fine if I ‘get over it’.

How can I help myself when some days I don’t even feel like I deserve to live let alone be happy?

I feel like medication might help, but the possibility wouldn’t even be optional unless my mother agreed, and she’s strongly against it.

I wonder if she’s right, if self help is the best way to go, or if she’s wrong and medicine would best help me? Maybe mix of both?


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