Tired of feeling sad.

Feeling stuck…Unoriginal & unproductive as far as writing goes.

Sick of having visions of photo ideas…and then never having them exactly how I see them so clearly in my head. Stuck in a job I dispise (i'll cut the winge about work here, you've all heard it before). Stuck in a class that without I won't be able to move forward in…But with a teacher who treats me & the rest of the class as morons. When really he should get a mirror and do some self reflecting. I may not be a mechanical engineer and part time math teacher but I DO know how to multiply 12 x 4 without questioning the class and laughing about how…o i just don't do well with arithmatic…Okay, so why are YOU treating us like idiots. *Upset Huffing*. My parents who live in Tucson (2 hrs from me) and were planning on moving to Oregon end of april/beginning of may, are now saying that because my mom got laid off that shes just gonna start looking for jobs up in Portland…Not waiting till april/may, not staying for at least my birthday. This probably sounds selfish but i feel entitled. My mom is like my best friend….I need her to center me. My brother, mom and stepdad are really the only family I have. I have no father…I have nothing else. I feel like i'm being abandoned. And at least when i knew they were going to be going april/may I had time to prepare. Now though, if she got a job tomorrow they'd be packing up and leaving in what? a week…2?! its not fair. As it is APRIL/MAY is almost Fcking here! They told me that they would start coming up to see me more…well thats not happening…instead!! because they couldn't arrange time to come see me this weekend like they said they would i'm going down there. Maybe im making it too easy for them…they say no and then here i come. I feel hurt…And lately ive been so quick to tears that every little thing has been sending me into a tissue. Everyone leaves me. At some point of another Im the one left alone. They are taking my brother with them….They'll even take their fish. But i get left behind. I'm not saying I want to go with them .. because my bf is here….he won't move. But i still cant help this self pitying, abandonment.