Again, my public service announcement for the OCD crowd. Reposting after the name change. I do realize at some point that someone will question the wisdom of providing me with internet access AND a keyboard, but hey, my mom can't read my blogs. So here we are, "The Skittles are a Lie"

For those of you who were wise enough or fortunate enough to avoid reading my originally posted blog, I offer the Reader's Digest version. Skittles can't count. They SAY they can. They say they know how, but "oops, one musta slipped by us, Robin."

Everyone has their own method for the mindless consumption of artificially fruit-flavored candies. I sort by color, count them, and then make sure there are exactly the same number of each color. Everything else goes in the candy jar upstairs, except the yellow and green (disgusting to begin with) which are summarily thrown away.

So the other day, I had a bag of Skittles. For some reason, it bothered me more than usual at just how many of these things were rendered inedible (utilizing the aforementioned sorting method) and decided to notify Mars. This is their response:

Dear Robin,

Thank you for letting us know about your experience with a Skittles® product.
We truly value your feedback. Input from customers like you helps us to
constantly make improvements and ensure that we are always providing you with
top-quality products.

We apologize that you received a disproportionate amount of one particular
flavor in your Skittles® variety pack. We try to achieve a perfect balance of
flavors in each package. Still, we package millions of products a day and every
once in a while, one of our Skittles® variety packs gets through that doesn't
have the same exact number of each flavor. We apologize for that.

If you have any additional questions or comments feel free to contact us at
1-800-WRIGLEY Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.

Sincerely,

Anie Jones
Consumer Affairs Representative

Catch the key phrase, "every once in a while, one of our" blah blah blah? So I got another bag, a representative sample, 2.17 oz. Of the 59 candies contained therein, I found

17 orange

12 lemon

5 lime

12 grape

13 strawberry

And again utilizing the aforementioned sorting method, this leaves 5 of each flavor, or a total of 25 candies, making this bag only 42.372% edible. Prorated for the percentage of consumable candies, the adjusted nutritional value is now (for this bag) 106 calories, 1.06g Total Fat, and 19.928g Sugars. The funniest part is, I don't even LIKE Skittles. I never have. With Starburst, there are exactly 12 peices, 3 of each color, and you only throw away 3 of them (again, yellow just sucks) and your waste percentage drops down to 25%. "Taste the rainbow" my ass. The math gives me a headache.

Still haven't finished the rebuttal e-mail, but if I'm bored enough, I'll post that, too.

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