So laying in my bed last night for 8 hours… just laying there… I remember getting up to look outside for about an half an hour… Tonight will probably be the same thing. I thought that I was over my whole insominiaproblem… I was wrong. Sorry for all the periods but my mind is a little slow… Yesterday was mother's day and it was realitivaly good. I saw my grandpa. My sister smeared make-up all over my face (not literally). I actually looked really pretty but i couldn't remove it all from my face so today everything thinks I am wearing make-up (which I never do) when I'm not.That eyeliner would come off! I was going to get up early to eat breakfast, since I never do ( I get up at 7:20 and leave at 7:50; usually). But since I only got one hour of sleep, it threw my plans off.. I'm at school wearing a Kid Rock shirt that has two half naked women on both sides…. Good thing I had enough sense to grab a sweatshirt. Going to French next…. BORING!

i don't know why I couldn't get to sleep last night. I was actually really happy until I went to bed. When I was looking outside at 1 in the morningI realized that I was really depressed. But the frustrating thing about the whole thing was I had NO IDEA WHY. i'm fighting the urge not to go to the bathroom and cut myself… I wish I could tell my mom about this… She's got enough stress for one and she never believes me for two. I could tell her that I'm having suicidal thought and she'd be like' No… I don't think so.' Like she knows what I'm thinking about. Even if she did believe me I highly doubt that anything would happen. We can't offered medicine or a theripist. School is almost over so it's like I could go to a counselor and talk it out. I just want summer to come. So I can hide out in my room and… well, hide. That's what I want to do. Although mom would know something is wrong if I did that.

Someone please just pull the trigger on my head.



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