but the stress still remains. MY husband is acting like an ass, I still can’t find a job and my mother in law is in the hospital. I can barely pay my bills and my husband keeps rubbing it in that I do not contribute to this house when I do contribute and alot more than he does. The only reason he is able to contribute is because he is getting money from disability. I know that he is in pain at times but so am I yet I still have to do what I have to do to keep this family functioning, but of course he doesn’t see it that way. I swear I wish I could just pick up and leave. I am so unhappy it drives me crazy. The saddest part of it all is having someone in my life but yet I still feel today and completely alone. He bitches at my eldest son for stupid ass shit but yet lets my lil one get away with murder. I hate my situation. I hate feeling like I am at the mercy of my circumstances. And to add to all of that my mother in law. I get paid to take care of her through the state for things I have done and would do for free, but since gas isn’t cheap I accept the money. Plus it helps with the lil bit of bills that I have. It is becomeing to much for me to deal with now. My MIL is a very sick woman but yet she refuses to take care of herself better and there is only so much I can do. I can’t afford to feed her what she needs to eat otherwise I would. SHe lives with her daughter (my sister in law) and the chick is a total bitch to her. Not only that they buy food that is supposedly health and alot of other crap. That’s all my MIL has to eat, not to mention that my MIL is not a disciplined person and at time gorges herself or just doens’t eat. SO as she is getting older of course all the carelessness is catching up to her and she doesn’t realize that she can’t get away with this any longer. SHe has been having to go to the do more often and has been hospitalized at least 3-4 times this year for about a month at a time. I already went through this with my dad and although he didn’t have all the problems that she has diabetes (which she has too) took it’s toll on him and we lost him in Dec 2003. It was the most devistating thing that has happened in my life and has obviously affected me deeply. So now having to relive this it is becoming to much to bare. My husband is like "oh u just hate my mom blah blah blah" I’m like no I just hate the things she does. I am closer to her than any of her kids and for him to say some stupid shit like that makes me want to beat the crap out of him. I am just so tired and just wish I could run away with my kids and just forget about everything and eveyone…….