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Lately I feel like I'm back to square one with my OCD. My fear of germs has gotten worse. I am at a point where I want to get rid of my furniture and pillows and bedding because they are a breeding ground for germs. I have to wash my dishes by hand, then steam clean them in the dishwasher, then by hand again before I can put them away…then of course I have to wash them by hand again when I get them out of the cabinet to get off any germs they got in the cabinet. I have to boil my toothbrush before each use. I am afraid to breathe because the air is contamintated. I wash constantly but am afraid to take a shower because I think my bathtub is contaminated so I have touse the sink. I feel like germs are attacking my eyes and are going to get me sick. I don't touch anything unless I absolutely have to. I can barely bring myself to hug my kids and run straight to wash when I do. I have missed so much school that I don't know if I'll pass this semester. I am going deeper and deeper into this OCD hell. I have been getting intrusive thoughts and images of killing myself to escape the germs (nothing I would act on but they are scary) that are everywhere. My medication is doing absolutely nothing for me.

Popular posts by mishela
    So Tired of the Obsessions…
    Finally a good day…
    Ticked Off…
 

\"Silver

Posts: 11
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug

Lately I feel like I'm back to square one with my OCD. My fear of germs has gotten worse. I am at a point where I want to get rid of my furniture and pillows and bedding because they are a breeding ground for germs. I have to wash my dishes by hand, then steam clean them in the dishwasher, then by hand again before I can put them away…then of course I have to wash them by hand again when I get them out of the cabinet to get off any germs they got in the cabinet. I have to boil my toothbrush before each use. I am afraid to breathe because the air is contamintated. I wash constantly but am afraid to take a shower because I think my bathtub is contaminated so I have touse the sink. I feel like germs are attacking my eyes and are going to get me sick. I don't touch anything unless I absolutely have to. I can barely bring myself to hug my kids and run straight to wash when I do. I have missed so much school that I don't know if I'll pass this semester. I am going deeper and deeper into this OCD hell. I have been getting intrusive thoughts and images of killing myself to escape the germs (nothing I would act on but they are scary) that are everywhere. My medication is doing absolutely nothing for me.


Popular posts by
mishela
   
So Tired of the Obsessions…
   
Finally a good day…
   
Ticked Off…

\"Silver

Posts: 11
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 

Lately I feel like I'm back to square one with my OCD. My fear of germs has gotten worse. I am at a point where I want to get rid of my furniture and pillows and bedding because they are a breeding ground for germs. I have to wash my dishes by hand, then steam clean them in the dishwasher, then by hand again before I can put them away…then of course I have to wash them by hand again when I get them out of the cabinet to get off any germs they got in the cabinet. I have to boil my toothbrush before each use. I am afraid to breathe because the air is contamintated. I wash constantly but am afraid to take a shower because I think my bathtub is contaminated so I have touse the sink. I feel like germs are attacking my eyes and are going to get me sick. I don't touch anything unless I absolutely have to. I can barely bring myself to hug my kids and run straight to wash when I do. I have missed so much school that I don't know if I'll pass this semester. I am going deeper and deeper into this OCD hell. I have been getting intrusive thoughts and images of killing myself to escape the germs (nothing I would act on but they are scary) that are everywhere. My medication is doing absolutely nothing for me.

Popular posts by mishela
    So Tired of the Obsessions…
    Finally a good day…
    Ticked Off…
 
2 Comments
  1. DancingAmy 12 years ago
    I am sorry to hear this, and that you are having such a difficult time with your OCD. Are you currently seeing a therapist?
    When we let are fears run away with us, it is opening the door fully and inviting your OCD to come in, have a cup of tea, put your feet up, can I do anything else for you… you get the gist. Think of it this way, the more you think about your fears and how they will ruin you, the more you are procrastinating in developing a positive life and allowing the mental changes to take place.
    Your mind is literally ''stuck'' in over drive and you are reacting in panic, and then the panic is fed upon by your OCD (wow no wonder they say OCD is complicated and very difficult to manage)
     
    Knowledge is power … it is the walking stick for when OCD is crippling you. By researching OCD and reading about the tactics that CAN BE taken, then it will empower and teach you what steps you need to take.
    Think of OCD as a maths question .. all you need to know in solving the problem is what logical steps need to be taken for the solution to then be found.
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  2. ancientgeekcrone 12 years ago

    Mishela,

    It sound ad though you need to return to therapy and either see if you need meds or if your meds need adjusted.

    Ocd is cyclical.  It sound like you are at peak cycle.  I don't know if it does any goo to tell you or for you to tell yourself that you are having an ocd episode.

    While I am sure we all support you and tell you not to give up and that we've been here.  At this particular junction a therapist may be more useful.

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